a chameleon when it comes to switching personalities to the different ppl ard me.
depends on how i view u, really, juz a normal acquaintance, or a real fren.
yes. tt matters to me. very much.
coz hey, my time is limited, and id rather be spending time with friends tt i regard as my family rather than those juz there, but not there.
i can be a horned imp, and i also can be the serene haloed angel u look for when ure in need.
a pain-in-the-arse, or i can be yr muse. u choose. :)
very much on the heavy side, if u really must noe. to confirm, juz take a look at the gallery would u?
the most charming smile ever, and the most fcuked up scowl ever, whichever way i think u deserve.
haha
im looking to expand my social network.coz its by knowing new and different ppl tt come from all walks of life, would i be able to get a better perspective abt life.i wouldnt mind a mindless banter, nor a serious offhand discussion abt anythin under the sun.it would be a lie if i say im not looking for tt special someone, but it would be a greater shame if i were to expect too much of a great thing from the ladies here aint it.
yg penting, sincerity. hi-byes type, pls pass this one.
;)
i wouldnt mind a mindless banter,nor a serious offhand discussion abt anythin under the sun with anyone, girl or guy.
it would be a lie if i say im not looking for tt special someone to last me till the end of days, but im contented to let Fate decide in that.
a physical nor an emotional aimless temporal fling is a no-no either.
otherwise, im out to make new friends. sincere ones that is.
now that u haf already read this far, u choose, if u want
1) to have me remain as just another face in friendster.
or
2) me to be someone real u can get to know better, just for the heck it. You may not know the reason why now, but there's only one way to know for sure aint it?
:)
it would be a lie if i say im not looking for tt special someone to last me till the end of days, but im contented to let Fate decide in that.
a physical nor an emotional aimless temporal fling is a no-no either.
otherwise, im out to make new friends. sincere ones that is.
now that u haf already read this far, u choose, if u want
1) to have me remain as just another face in friendster.
or
2) me to be someone real u can get to know better, just for the heck it. You may not know the reason why now, but there's only one way to know for sure aint it?
:)
fcuking skip this if u haf no fcuking mood to let yrself be reeked by a bit of negativity literature, or perhaps, be drawn onto the journey of a directionless ranting of my own whims and fancies tt my highly annoyed cerebral palace wished to vomit out. thing is, im irritated. at almost everybody. inlcuding YOU. yes you. if this hits the spot, then good. but if some other jackasses feel that its meant for them too. then it is. one peeve of mine rite now, is the very existence of OTHERS. the very presence, even of strangers, puts me off big time. im not gonna make a list of who am i annoyed with specifically, nor the things tt is making me annoyed. being mad, takes up a lot of energy. and at this pt, i juz realised. its not fckuin WORTH it. this being mad thingy. this juvenile shittyism. so, im gonna juz chill. juz chill khairi. she aint worth it. nothing is ever worth it. _|_ tried reaching out to u. but u stubbornly wont budge. fine. i wanna see how long u can fcukin ignore me darling. the better if it fcuking takes foerever. ;) meanwhile, u wont hear a fcuking word from me. ever. adieu. and yeah. she IS much more beautiful in character, than u or YOUR jackass "FRIENDS" can ever be. *this entry may be fictional. *it may even be a figment of YOUR imagination *a blog is, just a blog. so dun think too much of it. ... aah. i cant help it ... FCUK YOU FOR TRYNA FCUK ME. thanks for reading... jackass.
Anger by ~Dark-Asphyxiation
anissa's post 270108
260108 a significant date this year
had a conversation which opened can of worms
however, the conversation was ended amicably, assurance given to another
270108 woke up this morning heavy hearted
wanted to sleep in but why was i awake that early?
mum was in the kitchen
i stood there, my thoughts running faster than i can follow
then, i said it out loud
with trembling voice, i told mum the issue that was embedded in me
a tear dropped out of my right eye
mum didn't say a word about that tear, pretending she didn't see it
she then told me the story of dad and herself and concluded that kalau jodoh itu memang dah tersurat, ia akan kekal kuat
now, i feel better coz i spoke and mum listened
however, one qns shall remain, "do i, like many others, have to 'settle' too?"
had a conversation which opened can of worms
however, the conversation was ended amicably, assurance given to another
270108 woke up this morning heavy hearted
wanted to sleep in but why was i awake that early?
mum was in the kitchen
i stood there, my thoughts running faster than i can follow
then, i said it out loud
with trembling voice, i told mum the issue that was embedded in me
a tear dropped out of my right eye
mum didn't say a word about that tear, pretending she didn't see it
she then told me the story of dad and herself and concluded that kalau jodoh itu memang dah tersurat, ia akan kekal kuat
now, i feel better coz i spoke and mum listened
however, one qns shall remain, "do i, like many others, have to 'settle' too?"
its only inevitable that sooner or later, at some points of our ever mundane lives, we will face some sort of a rut in the head. thats when God decides to play around with our moldable beings, and test us, to see how far we will go to overcome it.
and irritatingly, it comes in cycles, and more annoyingly still, it comes right after we haf achieved a certain high.
think orgasms. the low after the high. (hmm. i see u squirming now.)
playdo-ish, if u like. but really, the way we are are only defined by what we surround ourselves us with.
but, what if, the problem lies in your head.
no. not physical pain. but rather, think emotional trauma and the like. so what do u do?
nah. much as how the action in itself is appealing, we cant juz shoot ourselves in the head.
no pain no gain?
nah. ull only gain that one way ticket to hell.
on budget, no less.
(yes. i haf some religious beliefs stuck in me still. haha.)
so to overcome it, i suggest a remedy, that is free. (i see eyes giving off that shiny glint)
dun entertain the devil's advocates floating by yr halo.
instead, do things u wont normally do.
like, if ure bitchy by nature, or if u think u r, then tone down a bit. and try to look at things from an alternative perspective.
and vice versa, if ure quite an ignorant self-absorbed dumbass, go read. start with somethin simple. go pick up a copy of the newspaper.
kesimpulannya, do things u wont expect your " normal" selves to do.
youll notice the change would be refreshing enough.
and god-willing, ull get that drive and verve to continue living life again.
stop trying to be normal.
go LIVE.
oh yeah. while im at it, stop depending on others, or worse still, paying them (like some pimp here, or trashy mags that tells u on how to live life).
it numbs yr intellect and yr capacity to be autonomous.
if u noe what i mean, u can start by being critical of what u read or hear, including this entry. haha
:)
oh yeah.
im missing my Puspawangi. badly.
and irritatingly, it comes in cycles, and more annoyingly still, it comes right after we haf achieved a certain high.
think orgasms. the low after the high. (hmm. i see u squirming now.)
playdo-ish, if u like. but really, the way we are are only defined by what we surround ourselves us with.
but, what if, the problem lies in your head.
no. not physical pain. but rather, think emotional trauma and the like. so what do u do?
nah. much as how the action in itself is appealing, we cant juz shoot ourselves in the head.
no pain no gain?
nah. ull only gain that one way ticket to hell.
on budget, no less.
(yes. i haf some religious beliefs stuck in me still. haha.)
so to overcome it, i suggest a remedy, that is free. (i see eyes giving off that shiny glint)
dun entertain the devil's advocates floating by yr halo.
instead, do things u wont normally do.
like, if ure bitchy by nature, or if u think u r, then tone down a bit. and try to look at things from an alternative perspective.
and vice versa, if ure quite an ignorant self-absorbed dumbass, go read. start with somethin simple. go pick up a copy of the newspaper.
kesimpulannya, do things u wont expect your " normal" selves to do.
youll notice the change would be refreshing enough.
and god-willing, ull get that drive and verve to continue living life again.
stop trying to be normal.
go LIVE.
oh yeah. while im at it, stop depending on others, or worse still, paying them (like some pimp here, or trashy mags that tells u on how to live life).
it numbs yr intellect and yr capacity to be autonomous.
if u noe what i mean, u can start by being critical of what u read or hear, including this entry. haha
:)
oh yeah.
im missing my Puspawangi. badly.
salaam all.this would be a heartfelt input.. so for people who knows whats goin on.. read it with an open mind.. do not be clouded by personal emotions as I would not want to strike any bad chords anymore..wat i would be writing is wat i really really feel. all this while. and knowing that you've erased me. and notified me why you do it. i guess its high time i write off how i am accepting things too.i cant speak for the rest. but this is how i feel.dear lil bro.you've came into my life, close to my heart. like a lil brother.we shared. life's ordeals. feelings. practically treating you like my own.and with you and the rest i felt really happy. somehow complete.squabbles. quarrels. misunderstandings.we've gone thru it with stride. still fighting to keep things together. in one. as one.but somehow things took for a turn.i'm not blaming you. cos there's nothing to blame you about as you've said that wateva happens, happens for a reason.. my sentiments exactly.and so since there's no one to blame and perhaps we have just to take it that Allah's teaching us something out of this. i have sat dwn and reflected.a short msn conversation with you just now has put the light as to wat i felt like darkness in my heart and mind before that.there's nothing to be sad about.in fact i should thank you for all the things that i've not known before. for making me learn that we humans are still gullible in our actions.i thank Allah for the short lil moments in our journey called LIFE.yes. I would walk away.. since you've have turned ya back and started to walk away too.I would pray that you will be led to good things in life. and for you to find solace in your journey in life too.Have a blessed journey, In His Will.I have ended my duty as a sister, but rest assured I will continue to do my part as a fellow Muslim.Thank you Khairi.One day, the truth will prevails. and the unspoken will be put to light. Just keep on believing in the Greatness of Allah.Khalas. I'm done and over. and now. outs.
satisfied?
from what i heard.
there was this busybody intern currently at the god-forsaken company which my sayang works at.
and somehow, through my blog im guessing, she stumbled upon my sayang's blog.
ok. for those who are nosey enough, or at least, knowable enough, blogs are outlets to vent out yr most innermost emotions and thoughts, the public way. yes. we could have used those oldschool diaries. but, becoz we care so much about others and the world, we want others to learn from our very own mistakes, coz hey, who haf the time to make all the mistakes there are in the world rite?
ok. this intern, after reading the countless rants and complains from my sayang about that god-forsaken, she decided to tell her father about it. funny kan. org2 macam ginie. dah kpo2 kat blog org, dia nak bilang bapaknyer pulak.
and it so happened that the father knows one of the higher management team-members of tt godforsaken company, and somehow, through the weird laws of nature and social bullshittism, decided to tell.
and so, my sayang is told off, not to blog abt work anymore.
NOW IM SAYING,
"HELLO!!! BACA TERANG2 EH"
"BLOG ORG, ORG PEH SUKA AH NAK BLOG PASAL APE"
"DAH MEMANG TEMPAT KEJE SLALU KASI NAIK DARAH, NAK BUAT MCM MANE?"
"DAN KAU! YANG MULUT MCM MULUT BURUNG MURAI, PLEASE AH EH. KALAU BUKAN TEPI KAIN KAU, JGN SIBUK2 NAK JAGA! PAHAM?"
and now, if indeed my arrow correctly hits the spot, then the impression that this particular intern left on a couple of my sec sch buddies may indeed be rite.
F OFF.
KECIK2 tanak MAMPOS, dah besar menyusahkan org.
there was this busybody intern currently at the god-forsaken company which my sayang works at.
and somehow, through my blog im guessing, she stumbled upon my sayang's blog.
ok. for those who are nosey enough, or at least, knowable enough, blogs are outlets to vent out yr most innermost emotions and thoughts, the public way. yes. we could have used those oldschool diaries. but, becoz we care so much about others and the world, we want others to learn from our very own mistakes, coz hey, who haf the time to make all the mistakes there are in the world rite?
ok. this intern, after reading the countless rants and complains from my sayang about that god-forsaken, she decided to tell her father about it. funny kan. org2 macam ginie. dah kpo2 kat blog org, dia nak bilang bapaknyer pulak.
and it so happened that the father knows one of the higher management team-members of tt godforsaken company, and somehow, through the weird laws of nature and social bullshittism, decided to tell.
and so, my sayang is told off, not to blog abt work anymore.
NOW IM SAYING,
"HELLO!!! BACA TERANG2 EH"
"BLOG ORG, ORG PEH SUKA AH NAK BLOG PASAL APE"
"DAH MEMANG TEMPAT KEJE SLALU KASI NAIK DARAH, NAK BUAT MCM MANE?"
"DAN KAU! YANG MULUT MCM MULUT BURUNG MURAI, PLEASE AH EH. KALAU BUKAN TEPI KAIN KAU, JGN SIBUK2 NAK JAGA! PAHAM?"
and now, if indeed my arrow correctly hits the spot, then the impression that this particular intern left on a couple of my sec sch buddies may indeed be rite.
F OFF.
KECIK2 tanak MAMPOS, dah besar menyusahkan org.
indulgent
the fillings in a slice of strawberry struddel.
illuminated by the street light.
the nearest description available for my handwriting. at raffles place mrt platform..
so rush and i had a little date.
after a marathon session of revision at the national library.
but not before performing my friday prayers at one of the most oddest of spots.
.
ok. scroll back up.
and go indulge in a bit of visual feast.
bye.
walking.on.water
I LOVE THIS PICTURE!~
the.light.of.my.life & yours.truly
our.1st.bowling.sessionok2. ive juz ended my revision at wdlands library... for today.
going home now.
but... the marathon continues at home.
1st paper on thursday morning. linguistics.
why. why khairi. ???!!!
.
".it's never the same without you."
patiently.waiting
Picture taken at Sedap Corner.Life's a contemplation.
We choose, according to certain values, or aims.
At times, we will not be sure.
The direction of our paths gets clouded and murky.
At those junctures are hints for you to pause, and reflect.
Think clearly about what you really want, or what you do not want.
Once your mind is clearer, you then continue your journey.
Angler Mentor, Mr Jason Boh.I became an angler for the first time in my life just now.
The waiting process was a torture at first, and as i eagerly reeled in the line for the first time, i was expecting a fish to be hooked. yes. i was disappointed.
But thanks to my first official Angler Mentor, i had very succint yet comprehensive briefing of what it is like to immerse in the Fishing (Angling) Experience.
My first caught fish. I think I will name it "Fishy".The thrill.
The excitement.
...
Of doing it for the first time, is indeed...
Priceless.
...
My love and yours truly i feeling the distance.
Time and circumstance are making us miss each other more.
Truly, for the time to arrive...
I can barely wait.
...
My time with Angler Mentor, reminded me of the virtue of Patience.
.
Patience, k sayang?
ilu. ;)
The excitement.
...
Of doing it for the first time, is indeed...
Priceless.
...
My love and yours truly i feeling the distance.
Time and circumstance are making us miss each other more.
Truly, for the time to arrive...
I can barely wait.
...
My time with Angler Mentor, reminded me of the virtue of Patience.
.
Patience, k sayang?
ilu. ;)
reprieved.caramel
minimised.alienation"At times, we think we are alone in this world.
Perhaps, we really are.
At the end of it, its our own body which the grave consumes.
By choices made, we only have ourselves to bear the consequences.
Thing is, we cant stand being alone.
Being alone means you cannot have a strong support of your realities or meanings.
That scares us.
Yet we want others to believe in our own realities only, not knowing that we risk burning the ties that bond the free spirit in us.
Being free lets you go places, but it dampens your search for a home."
Perhaps i am just babbling, or im merely sorting out my own reasonings. My intention is anyone's guess. Anyways, may we wake up tomorrow fresh, or let us sleep in peace forever (leaving the chaos behind).
Gd nite.
.
Art imitating Life.
or Life imitating Art.
ouh. the wonders of our never-ending maze of electric pulses in our grey matter.
.
Im meeting my Sayang later.
its been so long.
its been so long.
.
and the reprieve for a month starts from now.
Perhaps, we really are.
At the end of it, its our own body which the grave consumes.
By choices made, we only have ourselves to bear the consequences.
Thing is, we cant stand being alone.
Being alone means you cannot have a strong support of your realities or meanings.
That scares us.
Yet we want others to believe in our own realities only, not knowing that we risk burning the ties that bond the free spirit in us.
Being free lets you go places, but it dampens your search for a home."
Perhaps i am just babbling, or im merely sorting out my own reasonings. My intention is anyone's guess. Anyways, may we wake up tomorrow fresh, or let us sleep in peace forever (leaving the chaos behind).
Gd nite.
.
Art imitating Life.
or Life imitating Art.
ouh. the wonders of our never-ending maze of electric pulses in our grey matter.
.
Im meeting my Sayang later.
its been so long.
its been so long.
.
and the reprieve for a month starts from now.
ginger.girl
last monday was my sayang's 22nd birthday.had an intimate celebration with her pham at beach road.
gorged ourselves, or myself actually, crazy with ayam tulang merah.
was a lil broke, so for the occasion, i got for her that bliss log from cannelle and that gingerbread man from my store.
:)
hmm. this picture.i aint sure when was this taken, but it was during a busride on the way to her home.
so cute kan!!!
:)
and yeah. last saturday she followed me to a family bbq organised by one my aunts, and there, the ladies of my house got to know her a lil bit better, especially my sisters.hopefully, there would be more family outings that she can join me.
:)
.
and now. until tomorrow, i would be all alone without her.
she's off to a holiday cruise on superstar virgo.
haiz.
if only i can join her.
confirm dah bertango and doing the cha-cha with her rite now.
instead of having my feet aching, from that damn floorball practice, and special work shift, where my store is giving out free drinks for salvation army.
cant wait for tomorrow, when ill get to see her again.
oh yeah, i put some nice photos i took at my other, ahem, blog. :P
km13
KM31, a spanish horror film that got me pondering.
no.
not about the ghosts, nor the scary effects.
but rather, about lies.
the old woman told the couple to beware of ghosts that try to deceive.
interestingly, the old woman herself was out to deceive them.
imagine the devil warning others of himself.
.
lies.
truths.
untruths.
the mystique of such mechanisms still baffle me.
we rely so much on the truths, and truths alone.
that we crumble and fall, once the truth gets untied, and whatever that we believe in vanished.
how do you know when to believe, or when to be a sceptic?
do we blame ourselves for any dashed hopes, or do we point fingers at others?
the guy ended up killing his girlfriend, because to his eyes at that point of time, she was a demon.
he didnt noe that the actual demon was actually playing tricks to his mind.
.
nombor.
i left my mobile in the cab, only realising 20 mins after i alighted for my first opening shift.
.
i have reactivated my old number, which is 93838645.
sms me yr name, so that i can save it proper.
.
.
.
only now, i realise how much dependent my life was towards that phone.
i felt as if a whole lotta vacuum was left, and i felt truly lost.
.
i have reactivated my old number, which is 93838645.
sms me yr name, so that i can save it proper.
.
.
.
only now, i realise how much dependent my life was towards that phone.
i felt as if a whole lotta vacuum was left, and i felt truly lost.
gdbye.to.a.part.of.me
i am not financially well-off, like some of you are. that is why, i foresee that it will be a long time coming before i can get my hands on a brand new phone.
this is but a tribute to my phone, the N78.
gone, away from my not so chubby hands, and into some muddy fingers of the one who does not care to return.
why would i feel the loss?
it is just a phone, a mere object, some would argue.
thing is, even though its only a few months now, the phone had become an integral part of me.
other than the calls and smses function, i would miss the photography and music functions even more.
even the photography quality is obviously far-off from dslr quality, it is good enough for me. 3.2 megapixels, with a carl zeiss autofocus lense, and a bright enough xenon flash, i took loadsa pictures with it, if i do not have my bridge camera around me.
i captured some of the best moments that life can offer to me as a form of art, and im gonna miss that.
it has a big screen too, something which i always enjoy letting my eyes feast on.
though it hangs in the most unexpected times every now and then, with a simple removal of the plastic cover and the battery, its up and running again... and i certainly did not mind.
certainly, my audio technica earphones would miss entering its universal jack insert, for my daily music fix in transit, or when i need to have some senseless music screaming into my ears before i can go to sleep.
this is one the last pictures i managed to upload into my laptop, before the sudden disappearance of my phone.
i dont know about you, but i find this picture breathtaking, not only did the phone captured the flames in the most crisp of manner, it reminds me of my mischievous side, that is only waiting to unravel itself from time to time. (i actually stacked the whole remainder of a box of unused firestarters during the end of a barbecue session and set it alight, just for the sport of it.)
i dont fancy those large touchscreens at all, which also do not have proper keypads. my beloved phone instead, has a screen big enough screen, and a proper keypad, something for me to jab upon in a jiffy.
though it is expected that i would leave some scratches all over the phone, which i did, i still do not mind, as those scratches only make it more unique, and only defines it more as mine.
haiz.
goodbye, my N78. ...
now im using my sayang's old sony ericsson for the time being... until i can get myself another nokia phone that can match itself to my N78.
what to do?
suck it in lorh.
bah.
this is but a tribute to my phone, the N78.
gone, away from my not so chubby hands, and into some muddy fingers of the one who does not care to return.
why would i feel the loss?
it is just a phone, a mere object, some would argue.
thing is, even though its only a few months now, the phone had become an integral part of me.
other than the calls and smses function, i would miss the photography and music functions even more.
even the photography quality is obviously far-off from dslr quality, it is good enough for me. 3.2 megapixels, with a carl zeiss autofocus lense, and a bright enough xenon flash, i took loadsa pictures with it, if i do not have my bridge camera around me.
i captured some of the best moments that life can offer to me as a form of art, and im gonna miss that.
it has a big screen too, something which i always enjoy letting my eyes feast on.
though it hangs in the most unexpected times every now and then, with a simple removal of the plastic cover and the battery, its up and running again... and i certainly did not mind.
certainly, my audio technica earphones would miss entering its universal jack insert, for my daily music fix in transit, or when i need to have some senseless music screaming into my ears before i can go to sleep.
this is one the last pictures i managed to upload into my laptop, before the sudden disappearance of my phone.i dont know about you, but i find this picture breathtaking, not only did the phone captured the flames in the most crisp of manner, it reminds me of my mischievous side, that is only waiting to unravel itself from time to time. (i actually stacked the whole remainder of a box of unused firestarters during the end of a barbecue session and set it alight, just for the sport of it.)
i dont fancy those large touchscreens at all, which also do not have proper keypads. my beloved phone instead, has a screen big enough screen, and a proper keypad, something for me to jab upon in a jiffy.though it is expected that i would leave some scratches all over the phone, which i did, i still do not mind, as those scratches only make it more unique, and only defines it more as mine.
haiz.
goodbye, my N78. ...
now im using my sayang's old sony ericsson for the time being... until i can get myself another nokia phone that can match itself to my N78.
what to do?
suck it in lorh.
bah.
one.year
my mini floorball journey ended today.
we reached the semis.
alas, NIE was indeed the better team.
while we won and not concede any goals for the earlier preliminary matches, we were taught a great deal of the flair and skill needed to ace in floorball by the learning teachers.
and our huddle was like this...
"what team? HSS!
what team? HSS!
hey.. SA~!"
which left me a couple of seconds deaf.
.
sounds familiar?
yeah. the spirit-lifter for the wildcats in HSM.
thanks to who?
:P
we reached the semis.
alas, NIE was indeed the better team.
while we won and not concede any goals for the earlier preliminary matches, we were taught a great deal of the flair and skill needed to ace in floorball by the learning teachers.
and our huddle was like this...
"what team? HSS!
what team? HSS!
hey.. SA~!"
which left me a couple of seconds deaf.
.
sounds familiar?
yeah. the spirit-lifter for the wildcats in HSM.
thanks to who?
:P
it was our 1st anniversary of us together yesterday.
duly marked by a heart...
a simple gesture, but not without its meaning.
no matter how far the distance,
how bitter some issues may be...
my heart is still hers, so long as she bothers to keep it. kan syg?
:)
i love you.
duly marked by a heart...
a simple gesture, but not without its meaning.
no matter how far the distance,
how bitter some issues may be...
my heart is still hers, so long as she bothers to keep it. kan syg?
:)
i love you.
yakking.
it is only when things are turning out for the worse, or when the end is very much in sight, would we start to regret on the things that we have done or should have done.
why do we not contemplate right at the beginning?
isit the at-the-moment impulse, or are we really that short-sighted.
some of us do things, that we know harm ourselves or the people around us that matters.
take drinking, smoking, or even the general phenomena of global pollution.
we know that its wrong, and detrimental, and yet we still do it.
the apathetic side in all of us are apparent to see.
some who are optimistic enough would maintain that values and principles still hold.
but on which or whose grounds that it rightfully remain so?
we disparage those who smoke, citing second hand smoke as harmful to the body.
but what about smoke continuously coming out of vehicles or factories, isnt it as bad too?
or, how about us yakking so much on the environment and the need to go green, but at the same time, we drool at the sight of a branded item on the shelf that has "new arrival" on it, even though we do not need it. the current home at home is left wasted, piling up dust.
the need for that instant gratification is very much apparent, implicit or explicit.
we do not care where it came from, or how it was made, so long as our slimy fingers can get a hold of it.
hypocrisy is wrong? ... yet we barely bat an eyelid when innocents die from a stray bullet in a desert civilisation, but when someone from our own nation who holds a high qualification gets to be the victim, the mourning went like there wasnt to be a tomorrow.
.
my mind is rather racing and pacing, and i know, whatever above seem barely coherent or comprehensible.
perhaps im irritated that i have to get out of my house again tonight.
to become a slave to the system for a few hours while everyone else gets to dream a lil something...
.
why do we not contemplate right at the beginning?
isit the at-the-moment impulse, or are we really that short-sighted.
some of us do things, that we know harm ourselves or the people around us that matters.
take drinking, smoking, or even the general phenomena of global pollution.
we know that its wrong, and detrimental, and yet we still do it.
the apathetic side in all of us are apparent to see.
some who are optimistic enough would maintain that values and principles still hold.
but on which or whose grounds that it rightfully remain so?
we disparage those who smoke, citing second hand smoke as harmful to the body.
but what about smoke continuously coming out of vehicles or factories, isnt it as bad too?
or, how about us yakking so much on the environment and the need to go green, but at the same time, we drool at the sight of a branded item on the shelf that has "new arrival" on it, even though we do not need it. the current home at home is left wasted, piling up dust.
the need for that instant gratification is very much apparent, implicit or explicit.
we do not care where it came from, or how it was made, so long as our slimy fingers can get a hold of it.
hypocrisy is wrong? ... yet we barely bat an eyelid when innocents die from a stray bullet in a desert civilisation, but when someone from our own nation who holds a high qualification gets to be the victim, the mourning went like there wasnt to be a tomorrow.
.
my mind is rather racing and pacing, and i know, whatever above seem barely coherent or comprehensible.
perhaps im irritated that i have to get out of my house again tonight.
to become a slave to the system for a few hours while everyone else gets to dream a lil something...
.
sloshed.
"sloshed"
this word caught my eye in the front page of a local tabloid some time back recently.
it was featuring the habit of party-goers being drunk and paralysed right after one of the major beach parties singapore can offer...
it being an ugly sight and detrimental to the well-being of themselves, and all.
the verb caught my eye, due to its auditory effect of its pronunciation which hints to its meaning instantly in my head.
the first thing that came to mind was slurpee.
u noe, the blended drink that was made famous by its brain-freeze ad while we were young.
i remember in primary school, i used to head down to a nearby 7-11 which juz opened, just to get my hands on a cup of slurpee. or that small cup of mr softee, which has died out.
slurpee, becoz... to me its the sound or sensation that u will experience when u attempt to stir a cup of slurpee substance, or mr softee.
.
brain-freezed.
slow-mode-ish.
but without its colorful flavors.
that is what im feeling rite now.
sloshed.
im drained.
mentally, and physically.
not that i was busy with anything specific in particular, but perhaps its the amount of transit from point a to point b that gets me exhausted the most.
its mind-numbing.
its when emptiness will reek in, and your existence juz gets insulated by the dusty and crowded confines of the bus/mrt, while u see the rest of the world passing by.
its not a conducive environment to get the badly needed 40winks or even a decent chat with anyone that happens to be with u, especially in buses.
if u got a seat, ud always have to be on the look-out for the elderly, less abled, with two- bodied, just so to avoid the silent criticism from the glaring of other passengers.
it gets better when u play a game with yrself of gauging the age and efficiency of a seemingly old person in front of u.
.
perhaps the reason im quite sloshed rite now, even though its been 6 hrs since i had reached home from my graveyard shift, is also due to the relatively long period of time since i ever did something which i enjoy so much.
one thing, ive been away from my love for a quite a while now.
and another thing, we have not been spending enough quality time together.
another factor is due to my highly critical status of my financial situation.
*sigh*
thinking abt it makes me lose my appetite, and even the will to just go out.
no money, no honey.
simple rule.
this is juz another effect of reification, where how we see the value of time and the tasks that we do, being merely measured and dependent by the value of money.
.
slave to the system.
urgh.
im being exploited, and its not a gd feeling.
im not talking abt the corporation im working for, but rather, im referring to the whole system that we are bounded by as a whole.
the individual in me is exhausted.
he needs some time to recuperate, but im not sure when can he, especially with the school term coming up, and in hand are a couple of humanitarian project to contend himself with.
.
ouh. i wanna bowl.
i miss bowling.
before i started my journey home, me in my sloshed mind, managed to bring up the possibility of having a bowling session with 2 of my colleagues in JB, who happen to love bowling too, but has not indulged in the sport for quite a while now.
the idea is still in its infancy.
and i fancy it being realised only after my next pay comes in, and that is already when school has re-opened.
school.
aiyah.
im worried for my grades.
last sem was bad. very bad.
enough said.
.
sloshed.
from the worrying.
and everything else that comes in between.
someone pls bring me the remedy.
.
i miss u, nur.
i really do.
:(
when can we have our own time coming?...
.dah. aku nak mandi skrng.
ouh. and sloshed, according to dictonary.com
slosh -
v. tr.
To splash, wade, or flounder in water or another liquid: sloshed through the creek.
n.
adj. Slang
Intoxicated; drunk.
this word caught my eye in the front page of a local tabloid some time back recently.
it was featuring the habit of party-goers being drunk and paralysed right after one of the major beach parties singapore can offer...
it being an ugly sight and detrimental to the well-being of themselves, and all.
the verb caught my eye, due to its auditory effect of its pronunciation which hints to its meaning instantly in my head.
the first thing that came to mind was slurpee.
u noe, the blended drink that was made famous by its brain-freeze ad while we were young.
i remember in primary school, i used to head down to a nearby 7-11 which juz opened, just to get my hands on a cup of slurpee. or that small cup of mr softee, which has died out.
slurpee, becoz... to me its the sound or sensation that u will experience when u attempt to stir a cup of slurpee substance, or mr softee.
.
brain-freezed.
slow-mode-ish.
but without its colorful flavors.
that is what im feeling rite now.
sloshed.
im drained.
mentally, and physically.
not that i was busy with anything specific in particular, but perhaps its the amount of transit from point a to point b that gets me exhausted the most.
its mind-numbing.
its when emptiness will reek in, and your existence juz gets insulated by the dusty and crowded confines of the bus/mrt, while u see the rest of the world passing by.
its not a conducive environment to get the badly needed 40winks or even a decent chat with anyone that happens to be with u, especially in buses.
if u got a seat, ud always have to be on the look-out for the elderly, less abled, with two- bodied, just so to avoid the silent criticism from the glaring of other passengers.
it gets better when u play a game with yrself of gauging the age and efficiency of a seemingly old person in front of u.
.
perhaps the reason im quite sloshed rite now, even though its been 6 hrs since i had reached home from my graveyard shift, is also due to the relatively long period of time since i ever did something which i enjoy so much.
one thing, ive been away from my love for a quite a while now.
and another thing, we have not been spending enough quality time together.
another factor is due to my highly critical status of my financial situation.
*sigh*
thinking abt it makes me lose my appetite, and even the will to just go out.
no money, no honey.
simple rule.
this is juz another effect of reification, where how we see the value of time and the tasks that we do, being merely measured and dependent by the value of money.
.
slave to the system.
urgh.
im being exploited, and its not a gd feeling.
im not talking abt the corporation im working for, but rather, im referring to the whole system that we are bounded by as a whole.
the individual in me is exhausted.
he needs some time to recuperate, but im not sure when can he, especially with the school term coming up, and in hand are a couple of humanitarian project to contend himself with.
.
ouh. i wanna bowl.
i miss bowling.
before i started my journey home, me in my sloshed mind, managed to bring up the possibility of having a bowling session with 2 of my colleagues in JB, who happen to love bowling too, but has not indulged in the sport for quite a while now.
the idea is still in its infancy.
and i fancy it being realised only after my next pay comes in, and that is already when school has re-opened.
school.
aiyah.
im worried for my grades.
last sem was bad. very bad.
enough said.
.
sloshed.
from the worrying.
and everything else that comes in between.
someone pls bring me the remedy.
.
i miss u, nur.
i really do.
:(
when can we have our own time coming?...
.dah. aku nak mandi skrng.
ouh. and sloshed, according to dictonary.com
slosh -
v. tr.
- To spill or splash (a liquid) copiously or clumsily: slosh paint on the floor.
- To agitate in a liquid: slosh clothes in a solution of bleach and detergent.
To splash, wade, or flounder in water or another liquid: sloshed through the creek.
n.
- Slush.
- The sound of splashing liquid.
adj. Slang
Intoxicated; drunk.
witch
You Are a Witch (or Warlock) |
 You are deviously brilliant and a perfect manipulator. You somehow always end up getting what you want - without anyone knowing you're working behind the scenes. Crafty and cunning, you can work your way out of any jam. And it's easy for you to get people to do what you want, whether you're working for good or evil. Your greatest power: Mind control Your greatest weakness: Making people your puppets You play well with: Ghosts |
brown.chick
i made her sit on the concrete floor, juz for this picture, which for me, is one of the most beautiful pictures ive ever taken.lawa kan?
:)
.
the greatest storm comes just before the calm.
comma
You Are a Comma |
 You are open minded and extremely optimistic. You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything. You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests. You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time. Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to. (But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.) You excel in: Inspiring people You get along best with: The Question Mark |
past
we build on past experiences, to define our present.
without all that we felt, saw, hear or read previously, we will not have any basis present to form the roots of our judgments.
what if all that we know, is being challenged by a more authoritative figure, for example, the government?
education in schools, is just another form of propaganda mechanism, and the past that we know it, is being challenged, with textbooks saying that it happened the other way.
if that is to really happen, would you question yourself and your sanity, or would u dare speak up against it?
since the past do not exist, and perhaps, by the grounds of technicality, may never have, then who's to say, what really happened?
truth and knowledge, theyre relative.
only based on what u believe in, be it rational or spiritual.
hold on to them dearly.
coz when something robs it from u, consider yrself gone too.
without all that we felt, saw, hear or read previously, we will not have any basis present to form the roots of our judgments.
what if all that we know, is being challenged by a more authoritative figure, for example, the government?
education in schools, is just another form of propaganda mechanism, and the past that we know it, is being challenged, with textbooks saying that it happened the other way.
if that is to really happen, would you question yourself and your sanity, or would u dare speak up against it?
since the past do not exist, and perhaps, by the grounds of technicality, may never have, then who's to say, what really happened?
truth and knowledge, theyre relative.
only based on what u believe in, be it rational or spiritual.
hold on to them dearly.
coz when something robs it from u, consider yrself gone too.
last.entry.2008
even with all the chaos and the uncertainty, and of course, not to mention the unintentional inertia of non-movement that plagues me every now and then, i think it is safe to say that i am pretty comfortable with myself.
the year was alright.
the highs and lows, all there.
but somehow, none seems to be bearing much of a significance that i can easily pull out of my memory glands at the current moment as i am typing this.
ok. no. i lied.
here are some things.
1. i lost some friends, or rather, they lost me.
2. my studies werent outstanding nor glowing. juz afloat.
3. my faith is still on a standstill, even after that phase recently where i really thought there wasnt a point to anything at all. now, at times where i thought i knew, moments later, i cannot be so sure.
4. i got myself a part-time job at starbucks, driven by the hints and wants of two ladies in my life whom i know care much abt me, mama & nur.
5. my family accepting the fact that their son has a special someone in his life, and happier still, when mama gets to know nur a little bit better.
6. i found new friends along the way. another quirky bunch, but the last lesson taught me certain things, and knowing that ive this habit of handling too many things at one go, i hope nothing untoward will happen.
7. i got addicted to facebook. especially gangster battle and mafia wars. why. oh why???
8. nur and myself get to know one another better. it has been a year, and though peppered with the occasional flare-ups and disagreements, both of us are still deeply in love with each other.
as with other years, i hope 2009 will be a better one.
it better be.
:)
my wishlist, and resolution, will be jotted down in my journal.
yes.
ive a journal. aka organiser.
next year will be a more organised one for me.
so many plans, so many things to do, yet so little time.
the year was alright.
the highs and lows, all there.
but somehow, none seems to be bearing much of a significance that i can easily pull out of my memory glands at the current moment as i am typing this.
ok. no. i lied.
here are some things.
1. i lost some friends, or rather, they lost me.
2. my studies werent outstanding nor glowing. juz afloat.
3. my faith is still on a standstill, even after that phase recently where i really thought there wasnt a point to anything at all. now, at times where i thought i knew, moments later, i cannot be so sure.
4. i got myself a part-time job at starbucks, driven by the hints and wants of two ladies in my life whom i know care much abt me, mama & nur.
5. my family accepting the fact that their son has a special someone in his life, and happier still, when mama gets to know nur a little bit better.
6. i found new friends along the way. another quirky bunch, but the last lesson taught me certain things, and knowing that ive this habit of handling too many things at one go, i hope nothing untoward will happen.
7. i got addicted to facebook. especially gangster battle and mafia wars. why. oh why???
8. nur and myself get to know one another better. it has been a year, and though peppered with the occasional flare-ups and disagreements, both of us are still deeply in love with each other.
as with other years, i hope 2009 will be a better one.
it better be.
:)
my wishlist, and resolution, will be jotted down in my journal.
yes.
ive a journal. aka organiser.
next year will be a more organised one for me.
so many plans, so many things to do, yet so little time.
in.the.shoes.of.others
by now, im sure many would at least have the tiniest inkling as to what has been going on in the strip of gaza
zesty.
its already the 9th day of the new year, and im still feeling zesty.
though much hasnt changed, i cant help but feel that there is this certain buzz surrounding me.
for one, im feeling much more enthusiastic about things.
isit due to me being back in NTUMS activities?
or was it the resoluteness in ensuring positive change, after seeing my results and my current CGPA right in front of my face.
(ouh. i only got to know of the "degree audit" link this week)
nothing beats the f-ed up feeling of seeing yr grades slip, aint it?
a new year, a new beginning. changes.
a new year for nur and me.
and yesterday, we had an impromptu date.
after sch/work, we went to have dinner at breeks marina square.
it was exceptionally different yesterday, and we had fun. even though it was a bit too early to be letting our hair down for the week la kan.
thing is, we were very much ourselves, and it was so unlike the last year, where we were still grappling with one another.
we did things we wudnt do on a so-called date of the conventional sense.
like what? let us be the only ones who know abt it.
ouh, and we played with our food...
"the straw which had solidified chocolate in it."
"the fondue"
"that green thing in my mango goldilocks"
.
not forgetting the guest appearance from an old fren of mine. haha.
"khairi? khairi?"
.
we headed down to mustafa.
where i got myself some things.
and where we almost got into a fight. *again*
and where she couldnt stand the smell. but really, id think its juz a matter of getting used to it.
:P kan nur?
soon, claustrophobia got the better of both of us, and the night ended with her sleeping in my arms.
perfect.
.
new year, new beginning.
hopefully, this zesty feeling lasts.
long.
though much hasnt changed, i cant help but feel that there is this certain buzz surrounding me.
for one, im feeling much more enthusiastic about things.
isit due to me being back in NTUMS activities?
or was it the resoluteness in ensuring positive change, after seeing my results and my current CGPA right in front of my face.
(ouh. i only got to know of the "degree audit" link this week)
nothing beats the f-ed up feeling of seeing yr grades slip, aint it?
a new year, a new beginning. changes.
a new year for nur and me.
and yesterday, we had an impromptu date.
after sch/work, we went to have dinner at breeks marina square.
it was exceptionally different yesterday, and we had fun. even though it was a bit too early to be letting our hair down for the week la kan.
thing is, we were very much ourselves, and it was so unlike the last year, where we were still grappling with one another.
we did things we wudnt do on a so-called date of the conventional sense.
like what? let us be the only ones who know abt it.
ouh, and we played with our food...
"the straw which had solidified chocolate in it."
"the fondue"
"that green thing in my mango goldilocks"
.
not forgetting the guest appearance from an old fren of mine. haha.
"khairi? khairi?"
.
we headed down to mustafa.
where i got myself some things.
and where we almost got into a fight. *again*
and where she couldnt stand the smell. but really, id think its juz a matter of getting used to it.
:P kan nur?
soon, claustrophobia got the better of both of us, and the night ended with her sleeping in my arms.
perfect.
.
new year, new beginning.
hopefully, this zesty feeling lasts.
long.
woah!
almost nothing amazes me in school nowadays.
i miss the days when i would go "woah" after hearing something which simply blows my mind away.
"red pills", i would refer to them as.
i thought i will never get enough of them.
somehow rite now, i thought wrong.
not to say that im already enlightened or such, but the thing that i look so much forward to in school is no longer there.
yes. perhaps now its all about going deeper into theories, and looking at them at more specific, point by point examples.
almost to the point of narration and regurgitation.
is it any more possible to get a more general underlying observation from the things im currently learning?.
aah. perhaps my sceptism is too early, i must say.
its been like what, only 2 weeks into the semester?
by the way, these are the modules that im taking:
Sociology of Emotions (non-expressive)
Sociology of Food (wordy)
Understanding Statistics (numbers, and more numbers. i so love numbers.)
Understanding Globalisation (soothing voice. a mess.)
Cognitive Linguistics (...)
Digital Lifestyle (i will be giving the lecture slides to my parents)
uninteresting?
.
readings are killers too. why cant they all write in direct simple english? i am a lil allergic to the wordy and complex-structured ones, in that my eyes would juz shut itself out into places where id rather be.
there is something wrong with my right heel. the pain come and go, but it is still there nevertheless.
the only things that im looking forward to now in school are the people whom i know and talk to in school.
be it random things, like jokes or observations. or whatever.
and MS, of course. if you (whoever you may be), hadnt known, im involved in MS projects right now, and they are ELEVEN (a quarterly published magazine), and Alterisk (a kids' camp).
though the meetings are there, sometimes, late into the night, this time round, im feeling a much better vibe in regards to these two.
To take from my past experience, its safe to say that im becoming much more patient, and likeable.
.
though i get to know more people in school, im sad to see some of my existing bunch on a less regular basis.
one of them managed to change area of study altogether, and the only one whom im hanging out regularly with would be the ones who live near to me.
i miss playing squash, or badminton, for that matter.
i need to work out, and i really feel like im gaining weight.
man.
ouh. and i really think the reason why this post exist is because i wanna avoid this special someone who would ask, "biler nak update? tak habis2 tu zesty!"
hehe
yes. ive been spending loads of time with her.
though at times when we are apart, we would feel a lil tension here and there, but its safe to say, we are pretty okay.
and tomorrow would be our 400th day together.
time flies huh. :)
duh.
.
.
rest.
i. need. rest.
i wanna sleep one whole day in my room, on my bed. with no care or concern in the world.
.
sleep?
u wanna sleep?
when u die, then u sleep! all u want!
.
i just stumbled into a facebook group in the name of saving kampung selak kain, or kampung buangkok, the last kampung in singapore. . other than ubin, if that can still be counted.
click this link. i find this very interesting. almost made me wanna go down there right now and capture some scenes, only stopped by me realising its already 1036pm.
.
ok2. i think im finishing soon.
here are some way overdue pics. :) enjoy. ouh. and beware. i think there are a couple pics down below which will make yr eyes go wider, at least. :P
"she did it!"
"hah! main dengan makanan lagi!"
"oooh!"
"lectured"
"fascination?"
"oh yes.i will drink you!"
"on one of doz white balls floating in front of the esplanade on new year"
"my turn"
"her turn"
"smiles!"
*love*
i miss the days when i would go "woah" after hearing something which simply blows my mind away.
"red pills", i would refer to them as.
i thought i will never get enough of them.
somehow rite now, i thought wrong.
not to say that im already enlightened or such, but the thing that i look so much forward to in school is no longer there.
yes. perhaps now its all about going deeper into theories, and looking at them at more specific, point by point examples.
almost to the point of narration and regurgitation.
is it any more possible to get a more general underlying observation from the things im currently learning?.
aah. perhaps my sceptism is too early, i must say.
its been like what, only 2 weeks into the semester?
by the way, these are the modules that im taking:
Sociology of Emotions (non-expressive)
Sociology of Food (wordy)
Understanding Statistics (numbers, and more numbers. i so love numbers.)
Understanding Globalisation (soothing voice. a mess.)
Cognitive Linguistics (...)
Digital Lifestyle (i will be giving the lecture slides to my parents)
uninteresting?
.
readings are killers too. why cant they all write in direct simple english? i am a lil allergic to the wordy and complex-structured ones, in that my eyes would juz shut itself out into places where id rather be.
there is something wrong with my right heel. the pain come and go, but it is still there nevertheless.
the only things that im looking forward to now in school are the people whom i know and talk to in school.
be it random things, like jokes or observations. or whatever.
and MS, of course. if you (whoever you may be), hadnt known, im involved in MS projects right now, and they are ELEVEN (a quarterly published magazine), and Alterisk (a kids' camp).
though the meetings are there, sometimes, late into the night, this time round, im feeling a much better vibe in regards to these two.
To take from my past experience, its safe to say that im becoming much more patient, and likeable.
.
though i get to know more people in school, im sad to see some of my existing bunch on a less regular basis.
one of them managed to change area of study altogether, and the only one whom im hanging out regularly with would be the ones who live near to me.
i miss playing squash, or badminton, for that matter.
i need to work out, and i really feel like im gaining weight.
man.
ouh. and i really think the reason why this post exist is because i wanna avoid this special someone who would ask, "biler nak update? tak habis2 tu zesty!"
hehe
yes. ive been spending loads of time with her.
though at times when we are apart, we would feel a lil tension here and there, but its safe to say, we are pretty okay.
and tomorrow would be our 400th day together.
time flies huh. :)
duh.
.
.
rest.
i. need. rest.
i wanna sleep one whole day in my room, on my bed. with no care or concern in the world.
.
sleep?
u wanna sleep?
when u die, then u sleep! all u want!
.
i just stumbled into a facebook group in the name of saving kampung selak kain, or kampung buangkok, the last kampung in singapore. . other than ubin, if that can still be counted.
click this link. i find this very interesting. almost made me wanna go down there right now and capture some scenes, only stopped by me realising its already 1036pm.
.
ok2. i think im finishing soon.
here are some way overdue pics. :) enjoy. ouh. and beware. i think there are a couple pics down below which will make yr eyes go wider, at least. :P
"she did it!"
"hah! main dengan makanan lagi!"
"oooh!"
"lectured"
"fascination?"
"oh yes.i will drink you!"
"on one of doz white balls floating in front of the esplanade on new year"
"my turn"
"her turn"
"smiles!"
*love*recorded
the problem with everything is that our reality is only constructed through records, made in the medium of photos, videos, texts and graphics.
"photos do not tell the whole story."
thing is, they are as easily mouldable as play-do, as perfectly crafted as to how the creator sees fit.
history is written by the victors, and losers gets to bite the dust, paralysed from telling the rest who didnt get to watch what happened, what really "happened".
the dominant force, maintains it supremacy to ensure its participants willingly support it, by constantly feeding them the propaganda and "truths" of what is supposed to be, and what is supposed to be not.
some who decide to be critical, ends up being lost, because they can never be sure of what to believe in, checking for the source and the presumed reliability that each name brings.
while the lamb heeds to the call of the shepherd dog, the oppressed cow or chicken inside feedlots continue to be mistreated by the very hands that slaughter them the next day, or are they?
oppressed from the watching eye, but in their minds, do they feel like theyre being oppressed? heck. they would think its normal, and would have no qualms about.
false consciousness, the watching eye concludes. but under whose hood does the watching eye looks from?
questions. questions.
the past? did it exist?
certainly the past no longer exist.
but how do we ever prove the past was ever there in the 1st place?
by recording it.
but who is recording it?
under whose interest?
the only saving remark for the aimless wandering ponderings would be, the only truth would be the Holy Book given by Him.
silent.goodbyes
goodbyes which seem to be part of a ritual as a full certainty, like the sun rising back in the east after taking its nap in the far horizon, have this habit of putting us into a false sense of security, that the person who we have bade farewell to, will always return.
a disadvantage of living far away from those who matter to you is that whenever you return, you will always have to anticipate the time when u haf to go back to the place you call home. you know u dont wanna go, but you also know that due to whatever reasons, you cant stay.
over time, of coz, it will turn into a ritual, but yet, everytime when the time comes to say goodbye and the well-wishes, we cringe. big time. especially if the person going/left behind, is very close to you.
the tears will be replaced by unnatural controlled smiles, and silence, which sadly forms the bluff that we deceived ourselves with.
it happening over and over repetitively, even it has done so from the beginning of our awareness of the world, do not mean it will necessarily and surely happen again the next time.
even the rising and the setting of the big yellow ball.
a disadvantage of living far away from those who matter to you is that whenever you return, you will always have to anticipate the time when u haf to go back to the place you call home. you know u dont wanna go, but you also know that due to whatever reasons, you cant stay.
over time, of coz, it will turn into a ritual, but yet, everytime when the time comes to say goodbye and the well-wishes, we cringe. big time. especially if the person going/left behind, is very close to you.
the tears will be replaced by unnatural controlled smiles, and silence, which sadly forms the bluff that we deceived ourselves with.
it happening over and over repetitively, even it has done so from the beginning of our awareness of the world, do not mean it will necessarily and surely happen again the next time.
even the rising and the setting of the big yellow ball.
gasolina~
everything is slowly becoming a blur. time seems to get a life of its own, and my grip on affairs is loosening.
these are just some of the things which i vaguely remember.
i think someone has been putting ants into the things i eat.
28th Jan 2009, Wed - met up with yasmin ahmad for an interview for MS' publication with kak aisyah. keep a look-out for it. . ouh. on that day, was told of an E471, and controversial ingredient it contained. from now on, i would not drink caramel macchiato, or caramel frappucino.
30th Jan 2009, Fri - Uneventful store meeting and later on had our very own Family Reunion with "The Geng" at Holland Village Starbucks. Had a major talk with Bro Afiq, which cleared up the silence of the egos between us both. There is no need for any explanation. All that matters is that The Geng is complete.
31st Jan 2009, Sat - Watched "The Reader" with my love at Great World City. It explored the notion of 'Guilt' of individuals, relating to the wider theme of a post-war effect. Despite the nudity onscreen, it got two thumbs up from my love. :)
1st Feb, Sun - Worked the opening shift, before i went for an Alterisk meeting.
2nd Feb, Mon - Appudurai's reading presentation.
3rd Feb, Tue - Lutfi's tuition appointment.
.
so. yeah. that is all.
.
oh. and i get to meet my only love .
.
my only love.
.
and tts all that matters.
these are just some of the things which i vaguely remember.
i think someone has been putting ants into the things i eat.
28th Jan 2009, Wed - met up with yasmin ahmad for an interview for MS' publication with kak aisyah. keep a look-out for it. . ouh. on that day, was told of an E471, and controversial ingredient it contained. from now on, i would not drink caramel macchiato, or caramel frappucino.
30th Jan 2009, Fri - Uneventful store meeting and later on had our very own Family Reunion with "The Geng" at Holland Village Starbucks. Had a major talk with Bro Afiq, which cleared up the silence of the egos between us both. There is no need for any explanation. All that matters is that The Geng is complete.
31st Jan 2009, Sat - Watched "The Reader" with my love at Great World City. It explored the notion of 'Guilt' of individuals, relating to the wider theme of a post-war effect. Despite the nudity onscreen, it got two thumbs up from my love. :)
1st Feb, Sun - Worked the opening shift, before i went for an Alterisk meeting.
2nd Feb, Mon - Appudurai's reading presentation.
3rd Feb, Tue - Lutfi's tuition appointment.
.
so. yeah. that is all.
.
oh. and i get to meet my only love .
.
my only love.
.
and tts all that matters.
time.space
the concept of time and space kept playing around in my head at random points of the day. theyre inter-related, linked by the notion of speed.
im not thinking so much of the quantum physics and the maths behind it all, but rather more on a personal and social level.
before, the notion of time is not much of a big deal in ancient societies, where the measurement of time is only defined by the position of the sun and the moon, and it only mattered during the different parts of the day, when conditions change. its warmer during the afternoon, and during the night, prey and predator switch amongst themselves in the chasing tango for food and maybe later a siesta to digest it all. now though, it is so much different, where as we grow older, we develop for ourselves more things to do, be it in the form of hobby or work, just so that we attain that dream of retiring in comfort. but by whose rules? of course, the rules are set by those that have the legitimacy to command, especially the ones holding the carrots that are dangled in front of us in this seemingly hectic hare-race.
the general feeling most of us have is that there is too little time, for too many things to do.
space. the gap that fills the separation of an atom from another. we strive to keep changing the environment, while trying to have everything much more accesible to us. now, within days, u can get yrself a claypot made in india, if u noe where and how to get it. smaller space, more things to do.
time, and time again.
the clock keeps on ticking. while we rush ourselves mad.
and for what?
because work makes a man?
.
what the hell is the rush for?
.
maybe life is nothing when we do nothing.
.
nothing. how does the concept of nothingness exist?
.
.
this blog is going nowhere.
.
i cant remember much more of what in the blue hell i was pondering abt earlier in the day.
but , somehow, the following term in me, is quite stuck in my head for tonight.
.
"anything can happen."
for all the plannings, and the dreams.
at the end of the day, what happens next is quite uncertain, perhaps as much as the rolling of dices, or the shuffling of cards.
we will never know what the settled surface will lay out for u once the dust settles down.
.there are those who belong to either the red or black families of the deck. either with particular beliefs or attitudes.
.
the joker aint one of them.
.
he muses.
and he makes fools out of us.
and yet he does not know more.
yet. he is wise.
the wisest is one who realises that he does not know.
the most foolish is one who thinks that he knows everything.
bye.
bye bye.
im not thinking so much of the quantum physics and the maths behind it all, but rather more on a personal and social level.
before, the notion of time is not much of a big deal in ancient societies, where the measurement of time is only defined by the position of the sun and the moon, and it only mattered during the different parts of the day, when conditions change. its warmer during the afternoon, and during the night, prey and predator switch amongst themselves in the chasing tango for food and maybe later a siesta to digest it all. now though, it is so much different, where as we grow older, we develop for ourselves more things to do, be it in the form of hobby or work, just so that we attain that dream of retiring in comfort. but by whose rules? of course, the rules are set by those that have the legitimacy to command, especially the ones holding the carrots that are dangled in front of us in this seemingly hectic hare-race.
the general feeling most of us have is that there is too little time, for too many things to do.
space. the gap that fills the separation of an atom from another. we strive to keep changing the environment, while trying to have everything much more accesible to us. now, within days, u can get yrself a claypot made in india, if u noe where and how to get it. smaller space, more things to do.
time, and time again.
the clock keeps on ticking. while we rush ourselves mad.
and for what?
because work makes a man?
.
what the hell is the rush for?
.
maybe life is nothing when we do nothing.
.
nothing. how does the concept of nothingness exist?
.
.
this blog is going nowhere.
.
i cant remember much more of what in the blue hell i was pondering abt earlier in the day.
but , somehow, the following term in me, is quite stuck in my head for tonight.
.
"anything can happen."
for all the plannings, and the dreams.
at the end of the day, what happens next is quite uncertain, perhaps as much as the rolling of dices, or the shuffling of cards.
we will never know what the settled surface will lay out for u once the dust settles down.
.there are those who belong to either the red or black families of the deck. either with particular beliefs or attitudes.
.
the joker aint one of them.
.
he muses.
and he makes fools out of us.
and yet he does not know more.
yet. he is wise.
the wisest is one who realises that he does not know.
the most foolish is one who thinks that he knows everything.
bye.
bye bye.
very.short.post
i was happy,
looking at how ecstatic she was when i presented her Eclipse.
:)
guess that is all there is.
for now
looking at how ecstatic she was when i presented her Eclipse.
:)
guess that is all there is.
for now
the.thumbs
HI! I am Mr Thumb. "Thumb" with a "th~". Not "TAM". okay? I am at Woodlands Causeway Point right now, waiting for my sayang so that we can catch Underworld: Rise of the Lycans for the 2nd time. yes. the 2nd time. the first time, the movie stopped halfway for us, due to a sound glitch, resulting in Viktor having an extra-deep voice.
Hi! Obviously, im Mrs Thumb. Have you seen my dearie hubby to be? *giggles*. in the previous picture, he was standing where im currently standing at, but he seem to have disappeared. oh no! whatever could have happened to him?
Together: FINALLY! *hugs*Mr Thumb : Love, why are your lips looking so succulent today?
Mrs Thumb : Are you complaining? Or...
Mr Thumb: NO . NO. actually... I LOIKE! :P
Mrs Thumb: Stop it eh! Miang pulak dia menjadi.! Sayang, what is wrong with your tongue? It has been dangling since the first frame!
Mr Thumb: Entah. My creator thought it would be "cool" perhaps.
Mrs Thumb: OKay2! Come lets go watch the movie!
Mr Thumb: YES MA'AM! yabadabadoo!
Creator of Mr and Mrs Thumb. She goes by the monicker, PUS.
The arm belongs to her love, who goes by the monicker TEK. Due to security reasons, their full names will not be disclosed here....
Vampires. Werewolves. Lycans.
figures of the imagination streams in the human consciousness.
reflecting on the faintest images from actual experiences, resulting in folk-tales.
Vampires.
as a child, i had fantasies of becoming one.
frequently imagined myself feeding on blood off a damsel who has fallen in love with me.
immortality, yet only existing under the hood of the moonlight.
somethings to be pondered, or for mere records actually.
- Possession of Knowledge facilitates in the manipulation of Power.
- Freedom to... do desirable things . Freedom from... the undesirable things.
- Shyness is a form of self-imposed prison.
- When rationality and reason wears out, the only thing that keeps us going is Faith.
- Philosophy should be made a compulsory subject in schools.
.
nowadays, my eyes automatically try to shut themselves out the moment i try to read something from my modules' reading lists.
helep.
figures of the imagination streams in the human consciousness.
reflecting on the faintest images from actual experiences, resulting in folk-tales.
Vampires.
as a child, i had fantasies of becoming one.
frequently imagined myself feeding on blood off a damsel who has fallen in love with me.
immortality, yet only existing under the hood of the moonlight.
somethings to be pondered, or for mere records actually.
- Possession of Knowledge facilitates in the manipulation of Power.
- Freedom to... do desirable things . Freedom from... the undesirable things.
- Shyness is a form of self-imposed prison.
- When rationality and reason wears out, the only thing that keeps us going is Faith.
- Philosophy should be made a compulsory subject in schools.
.
nowadays, my eyes automatically try to shut themselves out the moment i try to read something from my modules' reading lists.
helep.
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