significant.whole

the past has always made up a few bits and pieces of the present, and even the future.
those hearty chats, with Jas, and Nit, though originally light-hearted in nature, actually made me really giving it a serious ponder afterwards.

like...
"there are no true atheists..." &
"negatives can only produce a positive in the end..." ... are amongst other things which we summed up.

somehow, only now i realise the gravity of importance of why the past, or shall i say, history, is very much studied upon.

and only now, i realise, how "lucky" i am to end up with reading Sociology in university.

yes. i am enlightened. and only God knows on what other things that i'll be enlightened by in the coming semesters till i graduate.

though whatever that came up between Nit and me can be percepted as merely a summary, albeit a rough one, i cant help but to feel that somehow, in some minuscule way, i have everything figured out.

yeah. the biggest picture .that is made up of whole lotta mosaics.
but then again, no large painting is complete without the microscopic details, and the intricate colored, or uncolored strokes that make it up, and it would be of coz, foolish if i were to just be interested in having a hold of the big picture.

which brings me to another point.
some of us forget that we have dual roles to play on this Earth.
though temporary, other than just carrying out spiritual obligations, we also haf to bear in mind the duties that we have on this Earth. for example, the importance of being a loyal citizen of your country.

some people get so caught up in the life of the spiritual, that they forget to be earthly, and vice versa.

its all a matter of balance. the ying, and the yang, if u like.

...

the past.
i was reading thru her previous entries, just the ones that mention me since i entered into her life.
curiousity almost tempted me to read her other ancient entries.
then, as almost as those impulses came on, i decided against it.
yes. the past may help you to understand something better.
it may help teach u a lesson or two.
it may give the big picture of why something is so and so, and not like that and that.
but to do so, would be clouding my own judgments on whatever things that may happen in the future.
indeed, i am in the process of starting afresh, and i do not need any prior knowledge of her past, which may lead me to act in some manner that can be deemed as pre-emptive.
the present and future of someone, does not necessarily depend on what happened to that person in the past.
whats past, is past, as they always say.
and indeed, the future is in my hands, and God's, and not even the stars, or even that god-damned history book will snatch it away from me.

yes. choice.
no matter how much culture plays a part in our actions or words,
at the end of the day, we do have choices to indulge in.

and one thing i noe, though i cant tell the future, and which i am highly assured of, i will make sure that i'll give my all when it comes to her and me.

for, as the present, and god-willing hopefully also in the future, as far as i noe currently, my heart is and will always be hers.

unless of coz, God decides to teach me another lesson or two, but for which, as im telling myself, i will always try my best to overcome.

with each other, we have made a realistic, and necessary intention clear.
Vivo (1st March 2008, at the Rooftop) : "i want u to make me a better khalifah, and ill make u better muslimah... together, we'll make each other a better person in His Eyes... insyallah",
cause at the end of the day, the ultimate reason why two beings unite, complement and love each other is for Him, and not solely for the gratification of those two beings.

any-ol-hoots, as far as i noe rite now,

i love her.
.
.
@>/--