blue/red.pill

my emotive behavior took a couple of swings lately.
swinging not up and down, but, down, and further down, and a couple of corkscrews maneuvers to add to that.
so do imagine.
i am already barely grasping the things that had happened.
understanding of one's self is hard work, i finally figured.
and i thought i am an open book, like how someone would always used to say.

problem is, now the book is closed, and has decided to remain shut.
locked and sealed in the dungeon vault.

for even i cant read it even if i wanted to.

no mortal can save me now.

perhaps this is one of those times that the Big Guy upstairs has decided to really wake me up from the slumbers and enjoyment this world has to offer.

do i want to keep on downing those blue pills,

or would i finally want to know what the red pill can offer?

whichever the answer, as simplistic as this might sound, to sum it all up, im tired.

:(