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biarlah.rahsia says:
assalamualaikum ~...
Only says:
wa'alaikumsalam khairi
Only says:
hmm..ape yg khairi ingin dibiarkan sbg rahsia?
biarlah.rahsia says:
tiada ape2 yg nak dijadikan rahsia. atau mungkin, tiada gunanya pun kalo ape2 yg terpendam di hati khairi diluahkan pun, coz it may juz end up hurting someone?
biarlah.rahsia says:
u noe ~... the last week, i hurt a dear someone of mine very badly.
biarlah.rahsia says:
~, if u recall me telling u abt.
biarlah.rahsia says:
tt dear lil big sister of mine.
biarlah.rahsia says:
coz of my mouth, i hurt her. and now, i realise, things are not like wat they used to be.
biarlah.rahsia says:
~, sorry if im boring u,
biarlah.rahsia says:
arent u working today?
Only says:
yes i m
Only says:
ur nt boring me
biarlah.rahsia says:
ooppsie. then how cum u online?
Only says:
bt im sori to say that i cnt gv u my full concentratn rite nw
Only says:
im so sorry
Only says:
i feel like rebelling today
Only says:
r u at wrk?
biarlah.rahsia says:
uh huh... im at work. its ok ~. fully comprehended and understooded. hehe. reply whenever ure free. its ok wit me.
biarlah.rahsia says:
why rebel?
Only says:
coz im nt happy here nymr
biarlah.rahsia says:
hmm. if u see yrself unhappy. perhaps, over lunch, u can refer to the classifieds. and then can think abt tendering.... try not to prolong the unhappiness process k ~. be decisive in ending it. khairi bilang aje.
Only says:
i hv done so actuali
Only says:
nywy thanks for the advice
Only says:
kenape khairi mcm cautious aje?
biarlah.rahsia says:
hehe. the ouh-nvm-kinda-late advice u meant.
biarlah.rahsia says:
coz somehow, i tend to hurt ppl with my words.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and the sad thing is, i only noe the extent of the damage only when ive done it.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and it hurts for me, knowing tt my apologies are not really taken seriously. coz ppl ard me know tt i rarely say sorry.
biarlah.rahsia says:
or meaning, i dun apologise easily.
biarlah.rahsia says:
haiz
biarlah.rahsia says:
oh well.
biarlah.rahsia says:
sumthin for me to ponder abt.
biarlah.rahsia says:
jgn kerna mulut, relationships with others get destroyed or turn out for the worse...
Only says:
khairi,ur masalah w ~ bermula bile?
biarlah.rahsia says:
u mean, the very first problems? hmm. way back last mth...
biarlah.rahsia says:
at first its minor2 small miscommunication stuff.
biarlah.rahsia says:
then suddenly last week, the day after that phone call wit u, i somehow got pissed. and said things i shudnt haf.
biarlah.rahsia says:
rocky friendship we haf, but i appreciate it nevertheless...
biarlah.rahsia says:
coz i really do love her as my sister.
Only says:
?
Only says:
sori
Only says:
u tok to her too on the same day?
biarlah.rahsia says:
and thank god, she still cherishes the frenship tt we haf, even tho dah byk kali khairi sakitkan hati ~...
biarlah.rahsia says:
no. on the day after.
biarlah.rahsia says:
now, i realise its not the same anymore, and now, im buliding up again the close rapport tt we had.
biarlah.rahsia says:
the wound will always be there... but heck, at least, we still frens.
biarlah.rahsia says:
im guessin lunch is nearing soon for u rite ~?
Only says:
it is lunch time already
Only says:
dnt u notice dat im more responsive nw
Only says:
hehe
Only says:
u knw wat...im sort of facing the same thing as u
Only says:
i was accused of being complacent towards frenships built
biarlah.rahsia says:
gulps~ ya allah.
biarlah.rahsia says:
exactly.
biarlah.rahsia says:
hmm. im like asking myself, " wats up with us???!!!"
Only says:
yeah.wats up w us
Only says:
bt i think there's a slight difference in our problems
Only says:
mine r frenships i think isnt worth bothering too much abt
Only says:
whereas urs should be fought for
Only says:
mine r guys who arent able to differentiate my intention n his
Only says:
tapikn bukan seorang tau..malah tiga orang
Only says:
kemungkinan stress dikeje is affecting my life in a way
Only says:
alhamdulillah so far my best frens and family hvnt gven negatvie feedbck
biarlah.rahsia says:
hmm. im juz wondering, the guys u meant are juz guys who wants yr attention?
Only says:
yes attn
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i cn gv them dat bt i nid to set aside time for family too n my besties
Only says:
cn i ask u if i speak arrogantly?
biarlah.rahsia says:
no. u dun.
biarlah.rahsia says:
actuallykan, u haf all the rite to whom u want to spend yr time with.
biarlah.rahsia says:
no one shud be forcin u in any way
biarlah.rahsia says:
up to doz guys to deal wit it in a mature manner.
biarlah.rahsia says:
if they cant, too bad for them.
biarlah.rahsia says:
take this as one way as knowin them further.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and then, easy as it seems, which it is, filter them out one by one.
biarlah.rahsia says:
why do u ask tt u talk in an arrogant manner?
Only says:
it iswat i hv bn told
Only says:
in the words of a guy.."u talk as if u above other ppl"
Only says:
i guez ur rite
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i dnt need many frens
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id rather hv few bt treasured ones
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lagipun it is my life..i will run it the way i think is best for me and my loved ones
Only says:
lunch time soon?
biarlah.rahsia says:
my lunch time is at one.
biarlah.rahsia says: :)

biarlah.rahsia says:
but ill not be eating.
biarlah.rahsia says:
ill be taking a walk instead.
biarlah.rahsia says:
yes ~.
biarlah.rahsia says:
i agree wit yr sentiment regardin tt.
biarlah.rahsia says:
u noe, somehow, ppl who arent open-minded enuf, will feel inferior to someone else who's different than him, in regards to attitude, or knowledge.
Only says:
taking a walk to where?
biarlah.rahsia says:
perhaps, its due to his lack of self-esteem.
biarlah.rahsia says:
insecure prolly
biarlah.rahsia says:
im talkin a walk to masjid omar.
biarlah.rahsia says:
wat did u haf for lunch?
Only says:
thanks khairi.u hv put into words their actions perfectly
Only says:
now im able to sift thru the list
Only says:
i din hv lunch
Only says:
hw'sur monday so far?
biarlah.rahsia says:
work-wise, nothing much, but thank god, no feeling of the monday blues either. haha. its juz me and the com. and the work. not too much work, nor too little. tts why i can pace myself juz nice enuf. so tt i wont be left hanging ard when im done wit all my work. hmm, personal wise, its good, coz im like chatting wit sumone who is peculiarly like me, and tt itself is a form of education for me
Only says:
bt i think ur educating me more than im educating u.unless ur toking abt self educatn lah.hehe
biarlah.rahsia says:
alah ~. id rather like to think of it as a two way education.
biarlah.rahsia says:
somehow, yr woes always seek to remind myself too on not expecting too much from anybody.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and also to remind myself, tt the world dun revolve ard me.
biarlah.rahsia says:
u noe, i tend to be very the high expectations kind of person in regards to frenships.
biarlah.rahsia says:
coz i tend not to be friends too easily, i also tend to expect too much things from the friends tt i haf.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and also,
biarlah.rahsia says:
by reading what im writing, its kinda educational too, too really see where yr mind and attitude is heading.
biarlah.rahsia says:
so, ~, it IS a two way thing. khairi tak shiok sendiri k? kehekhekeh
Only says:
lolz.definitely tk shiok sendiri
Only says:
u hv high expectatns of frenships huh.may i knw in wat sense?
biarlah.rahsia says:
had.
biarlah.rahsia says:
prolly still haf. but im consciously tryna minimise it.'
biarlah.rahsia says:
the person to haf made me realise this is ~.
biarlah.rahsia says:
perhaps, at the back of my mind,
biarlah.rahsia says:
i wanted my frenships to revolve ard me. much as like how the planets revolve ard the sun.
biarlah.rahsia says:
i think i was like tt.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and perhaps, subconsciously, i would tend to get irritated if im not the center of attention.
biarlah.rahsia says:
perhaps so.
biarlah.rahsia says:
tts why i was so choosy.
Only says:
oh.it muz b quite a feat to actuali gain ur frenship then
biarlah.rahsia says:
a feat? hahaha. perhaps its an underlying curse.
biarlah.rahsia says:
haha. entahlah anissa.
biarlah.rahsia says:
can i ask u sumthin, so far, wat do u think of me (interpret/answer tt qn in any way tt suits u)
Only says:
curse?
Only says:
ish...
Only says:
frm my pt of view,ppl who hv gained ur frenship are the victorious ones
Only says:
for that ans,u'll hv to wait til after lunch ya
Only says: :)
biarlah.rahsia says:
masyallah. and for tt, im expecting a 350 word essay. no less.
biarlah.rahsia says:
kehekhekehe
biarlah.rahsia says:
joking.
biarlah.rahsia says:
aite.
biarlah.rahsia says:
ill haf to be on my walk oredi.
biarlah.rahsia says:
catch u later k anissa.
biarlah.rahsia says:
assalamualaikum~
Only says:
wa'alaikumsalam
Only says:
wat ~ thinks of khair
Only says:
*khairi
Only says:
articulate
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smart
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selective coz he's cautious
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khairi is training himself to bcm a better person
Only says:
n i rasa khairi tk lokek ilmu
Only says:
so far,i like wat i knw abt khairi
Only says:
khairi has his insecurities
Only says:
tapi khairi doesnt lack confidence
biarlah.rahsia says:
hello ~. im back. is tt only a preview of the 350 words essay i was hopin for? hehehe. main2 jer.
biarlah.rahsia says:
thank u for giving a summary of me.
Only says:
no problem
Only says:
im sure u dnt agree w all of it
biarlah.rahsia says:
yes. u are rite. i dun agree w confidence fully... im only confident wit battles tt i noe i can overcome. but not confident with the uncertain ones. also, alhamdullilah, yes, i may be smart in yr eyes, but in mine and some others, i tend to over-do the smartness, to the point where ppl will think im arrogant, or perhaps, its the way i convey messages or ideas. i lack tact, if u must noe.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and im still learnin new things, especially things tt has never come across to my mind.
biarlah.rahsia says:
hmm. juz wondering, after givin me tt summary of myself, do u think u identify wit them, or rather, most of it?
Only says:
s i was thinking thru wat to tell u abt u
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i try not to type similar qualities
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but guez wat...there's one point u hd md above which is true of me
Only says:
i lack tact
Only says:
n i think i knw y
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it is bcoz of my education environment
Only says:
i hv always bn in an environment where ppl r of higher or similar intelligence as i m
Only says:
n among us,it is alrite to speak w/o much tact coz we hv to stand out or gt our point across
Only says:
among us,there was nothing wrong w the way we voice our ideas etc
Only says:
bt when i leave school,i hv nt accomodated to the real world environment out here
Only says:
at wrk,im still alrite
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bt nt w those ppl outside
biarlah.rahsia says:
yes. sumhow for me too, i can very opinionated. to the pt where i cannot take others' criticisms very well. ironic, since im a natural critic. haha. again, ~ pointed this out to me. and also the fact tt, yes, altho education is good, it can bring a person to be bongkak and proud, and tts what she wanted me to avoid. bagaikan pepatah, mengikut resmi padi, semakin berisi, semakin tunduk. :
biarlah.rahsia says:
u noe, somehow, rite now, it juz occured to me tt, perhaps its a blessing tt i shudnt find frens tt can revolve ard me. sometimes, along the way, we do need someone else outside our way of thinking and living to knock some extra sense into our heads. khekehek
Only says:
bt when dat happened to me over the weekend,i was affected
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thank goodness i spoke to my family abt it yesterday over dinner
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n dad actuali said something which never cm across my mind
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he said that im mkng frens,u mz mk clear ur intentions right frm the beginning
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mk it clear to the other party
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coz u dnt wana leave too much room for assumptions
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he told us that nt many ppl r alike
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our education,upbringing cn differ vastly
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bt that doesnt mean we stay only w ppl who r pretty similar to us
Only says:
we muz,s u hd said,proceed w tact and an open mind
biarlah.rahsia says:
yupz2. i haf to agree with yr dad on those points.
biarlah.rahsia says:
ure pretty lucky tt u can talk w yr parents openly.
biarlah.rahsia says:
sad to say, somehow i cant.
biarlah.rahsia says:
somehow, my parents expect me to go thru life knowing what to do abt in things.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and sumhow, i dun approach them when i haf problems.
biarlah.rahsia says:
haiz. sad. but tts the way it is.
Only says:
ouh...im surprised my dad actuali said something
biarlah.rahsia says:
worse still, my father dun really talk tt much. he's wat u call, the silent one.
Only says:
he hardly everdoes
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my dad is also the silent one
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mayb yesterday was father's day
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n we hd our father'sday dinner out
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we were all at the same table
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i was toking to my adik2 actuali tapi bapak pulak yg dngr n beri nasihat
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hehe
biarlah.rahsia says:
ouh. shows tt altho some ppl may juz be silent, they do observe. like yr dad.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and tt perhaps, they only talk when necessary.
Only says:
bt i do wonder y he had tot that yesterday was a necessary time to tok?
biarlah.rahsia says:
perhaps, he thinks it concerns yr life greatly.
biarlah.rahsia says:
and perhaps, he realises tt somehow, he needs to teach u a thing or two when it comes to socialising.
biarlah.rahsia says:
especially when it comes to guys.
biarlah.rahsia says:
perhaps making sure, ull choose the right son in law for him?
biarlah.rahsia says:
wallahualam~ hehe
Only says:
hehe
Only says:
gdness..there is lots of truth in ur analysis
Only says:
bt i knw that my parents aren't willing to let their daughter gt married yet.at least nt within the nxt 3 yrs
biarlah.rahsia says:
u noe tt for a fact?
Only says:
hmm...atleast when it comes to mum,im absolutely sure
Only says:
unless,the guy wooing me is perfect
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
perfect in terms of?... pardon my asking. im juz really curious. and wanna confirm my own tots, as to what a mum/ or a girl would want in a son-in-law.
Only says:
if u ask me..my honest ans wil b i dnt knw
Only says:
bt i think for my mum at least...
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he has gt to hv a stable job
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preferably as educated as i m
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pendidikan ugama harus ade
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n tk boleberat mulut
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i knw for a fact mum doesnt like our ex bfs who were berat mulut
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nk kene pandai ramah ngan her
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bt i think mum's utmost criteria is his ability to gv her daughter kehidupan g selesa
Only says:
coz mak yg mane nk tngk anak dia hidup susah kn
Only says:
bt then again comfort may nt equal to happiness rite?
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
true. i think i already told u, wat i think ciri ape yg sepatutnyer ada pd seseorang suami.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
wateva yr mom asks for is normal.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
cume part yg berat mulut tt im surprised.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
heh. the impression tt u gave of yr father is tt he is a silent one. hehe
Only says:
i jz received a msg frm mum-my datuk'sbn hospitalized
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
ironic rite.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
i pray tt he's alrite.
Only says:
dats y..based on her experience,she doesnt wan us to hv the same fate
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honestly,i knw dat mum n dad cannot communicate
Only says:
nt in the sense that they scream at each other
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they dnt communicate with each other
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part ini,i hv to agree w mum
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coz sometimes,iunderstand her frustrations
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
uh huh. communication is key. entahlah ye. for my dad pulak, similar pulak.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
yet, i find tt he communicated better wit my mom way than his children.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
he's more open to my mom.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
hard for me to understand his psche...
Only says:
mayb bcoz it is bcoz he's bn w ur mum longer than he has bn w the children?
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
god. 21 years aint enuf? uh.
Only says:
hehe
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do u knw dat i communicate w dad thru the hp?
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
no i didnt noe.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
i only talk to him whenever theres a need to. and same for him. and those times only come when he find tt i do sumthin wrong.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
otherwise no.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
he doesnt congratulate me or anythin when i pass my exams. or even if i got to uni.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
he never say anythin!
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
he only says sumthin when its makin him unhappy.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
and this makes me unhappy thinkin abt it.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
urgh~
Only says:
ok we shall stop here
Only says:
dnt wana mk u unhappy
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
actually im fine as it is rite now. dun worry. i meant, with tt particular thing im talkin abt.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
im wondering, isit a fault of mine?
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
haiz.
Only says:
fault of urs?
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pls dnt start blaming urself
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i hv a qns though..is he like dis to all of ur sibligs as well?
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
u noe. somehow, as we get older, he tend to get distant. i noe tt for a fact.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
now he is quite close to the girls. who r younger
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
but the eldest of em, feeling the distance oredi
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
i can see it.
biggest.war.im.up.against.(myself) says:
brb

...

end~