red.&.pink

being to honest to oneself is the minimal form of dignity that a person can ever offer to his/her self.

.
i smiled.
i teased.
i held your hands tight.
for you.

but you could see it in my eyes.
in my forlorn expression.
in eyes that bear the void of emptiness.

that there was something wrong.
but you didnt know what.
and i didnt know what.

but i was happy being by your side.
even though little was exchanged,
even though both of us were exhausted.

u, physically.
me, mentally.

for a while, i was on cloud nine. having your head, against my shoulder.
and
i couldnt stop myself caressing the skin of yr face while u were asleep.

...
but...

as tonight wears on, i realise what was haunting me.
memories of yesterday nite still lingers on.
the nightmare was too much too bear.

...

admittedly, now im seemingly the weaker one.
would u hold me tight and forever stay, or would u one day let me go ... & turn away?

.
its already september.
and yeah. its already my 2nd entry for the month?

so this is what i feel without the devil hovering above me.