goodbyes which seem to be part of a ritual as a full certainty, like the sun rising back in the east after taking its nap in the far horizon, have this habit of putting us into a false sense of security, that the person who we have bade farewell to, will always return.
a disadvantage of living far away from those who matter to you is that whenever you return, you will always have to anticipate the time when u haf to go back to the place you call home. you know u dont wanna go, but you also know that due to whatever reasons, you cant stay.
over time, of coz, it will turn into a ritual, but yet, everytime when the time comes to say goodbye and the well-wishes, we cringe. big time. especially if the person going/left behind, is very close to you.
the tears will be replaced by unnatural controlled smiles, and silence, which sadly forms the bluff that we deceived ourselves with.
it happening over and over repetitively, even it has done so from the beginning of our awareness of the world, do not mean it will necessarily and surely happen again the next time.
even the rising and the setting of the big yellow ball.
recorded
the problem with everything is that our reality is only constructed through records, made in the medium of photos, videos, texts and graphics.
"photos do not tell the whole story."
thing is, they are as easily mouldable as play-do, as perfectly crafted as to how the creator sees fit.
history is written by the victors, and losers gets to bite the dust, paralysed from telling the rest who didnt get to watch what happened, what really "happened".
the dominant force, maintains it supremacy to ensure its participants willingly support it, by constantly feeding them the propaganda and "truths" of what is supposed to be, and what is supposed to be not.
some who decide to be critical, ends up being lost, because they can never be sure of what to believe in, checking for the source and the presumed reliability that each name brings.
while the lamb heeds to the call of the shepherd dog, the oppressed cow or chicken inside feedlots continue to be mistreated by the very hands that slaughter them the next day, or are they?
oppressed from the watching eye, but in their minds, do they feel like theyre being oppressed? heck. they would think its normal, and would have no qualms about.
false consciousness, the watching eye concludes. but under whose hood does the watching eye looks from?
questions. questions.
the past? did it exist?
certainly the past no longer exist.
but how do we ever prove the past was ever there in the 1st place?
by recording it.
but who is recording it?
under whose interest?
the only saving remark for the aimless wandering ponderings would be, the only truth would be the Holy Book given by Him.
woah!
almost nothing amazes me in school nowadays.
i miss the days when i would go "woah" after hearing something which simply blows my mind away.
"red pills", i would refer to them as.
i thought i will never get enough of them.
somehow rite now, i thought wrong.
not to say that im already enlightened or such, but the thing that i look so much forward to in school is no longer there.
yes. perhaps now its all about going deeper into theories, and looking at them at more specific, point by point examples.
almost to the point of narration and regurgitation.
is it any more possible to get a more general underlying observation from the things im currently learning?.
aah. perhaps my sceptism is too early, i must say.
its been like what, only 2 weeks into the semester?
by the way, these are the modules that im taking:
Sociology of Emotions (non-expressive)
Sociology of Food (wordy)
Understanding Statistics (numbers, and more numbers. i so love numbers.)
Understanding Globalisation (soothing voice. a mess.)
Cognitive Linguistics (...)
Digital Lifestyle (i will be giving the lecture slides to my parents)
uninteresting?
.
readings are killers too. why cant they all write in direct simple english? i am a lil allergic to the wordy and complex-structured ones, in that my eyes would juz shut itself out into places where id rather be.
there is something wrong with my right heel. the pain come and go, but it is still there nevertheless.
the only things that im looking forward to now in school are the people whom i know and talk to in school.
be it random things, like jokes or observations. or whatever.
and MS, of course. if you (whoever you may be), hadnt known, im involved in MS projects right now, and they are ELEVEN (a quarterly published magazine), and Alterisk (a kids' camp).
though the meetings are there, sometimes, late into the night, this time round, im feeling a much better vibe in regards to these two.
To take from my past experience, its safe to say that im becoming much more patient, and likeable.
.
though i get to know more people in school, im sad to see some of my existing bunch on a less regular basis.
one of them managed to change area of study altogether, and the only one whom im hanging out regularly with would be the ones who live near to me.
i miss playing squash, or badminton, for that matter.
i need to work out, and i really feel like im gaining weight.
man.
ouh. and i really think the reason why this post exist is because i wanna avoid this special someone who would ask, "biler nak update? tak habis2 tu zesty!"
hehe
yes. ive been spending loads of time with her.
though at times when we are apart, we would feel a lil tension here and there, but its safe to say, we are pretty okay.
and tomorrow would be our 400th day together.
time flies huh. :)
duh.
.
.
rest.
i. need. rest.
i wanna sleep one whole day in my room, on my bed. with no care or concern in the world.
.
sleep?
u wanna sleep?
when u die, then u sleep! all u want!
.
i just stumbled into a facebook group in the name of saving kampung selak kain, or kampung buangkok, the last kampung in singapore. . other than ubin, if that can still be counted.
click this link. i find this very interesting. almost made me wanna go down there right now and capture some scenes, only stopped by me realising its already 1036pm.
.
ok2. i think im finishing soon.
here are some way overdue pics. :) enjoy. ouh. and beware. i think there are a couple pics down below which will make yr eyes go wider, at least. :P
"she did it!"
"hah! main dengan makanan lagi!"
"oooh!"
"lectured"
"fascination?"
"oh yes.i will drink you!"
"on one of doz white balls floating in front of the esplanade on new year"
"my turn"
"her turn"
"smiles!"
*love*
i miss the days when i would go "woah" after hearing something which simply blows my mind away.
"red pills", i would refer to them as.
i thought i will never get enough of them.
somehow rite now, i thought wrong.
not to say that im already enlightened or such, but the thing that i look so much forward to in school is no longer there.
yes. perhaps now its all about going deeper into theories, and looking at them at more specific, point by point examples.
almost to the point of narration and regurgitation.
is it any more possible to get a more general underlying observation from the things im currently learning?.
aah. perhaps my sceptism is too early, i must say.
its been like what, only 2 weeks into the semester?
by the way, these are the modules that im taking:
Sociology of Emotions (non-expressive)
Sociology of Food (wordy)
Understanding Statistics (numbers, and more numbers. i so love numbers.)
Understanding Globalisation (soothing voice. a mess.)
Cognitive Linguistics (...)
Digital Lifestyle (i will be giving the lecture slides to my parents)
uninteresting?
.
readings are killers too. why cant they all write in direct simple english? i am a lil allergic to the wordy and complex-structured ones, in that my eyes would juz shut itself out into places where id rather be.
there is something wrong with my right heel. the pain come and go, but it is still there nevertheless.
the only things that im looking forward to now in school are the people whom i know and talk to in school.
be it random things, like jokes or observations. or whatever.
and MS, of course. if you (whoever you may be), hadnt known, im involved in MS projects right now, and they are ELEVEN (a quarterly published magazine), and Alterisk (a kids' camp).
though the meetings are there, sometimes, late into the night, this time round, im feeling a much better vibe in regards to these two.
To take from my past experience, its safe to say that im becoming much more patient, and likeable.
.
though i get to know more people in school, im sad to see some of my existing bunch on a less regular basis.
one of them managed to change area of study altogether, and the only one whom im hanging out regularly with would be the ones who live near to me.
i miss playing squash, or badminton, for that matter.
i need to work out, and i really feel like im gaining weight.
man.
ouh. and i really think the reason why this post exist is because i wanna avoid this special someone who would ask, "biler nak update? tak habis2 tu zesty!"
hehe
yes. ive been spending loads of time with her.
though at times when we are apart, we would feel a lil tension here and there, but its safe to say, we are pretty okay.
and tomorrow would be our 400th day together.
time flies huh. :)
duh.
.
.
rest.
i. need. rest.
i wanna sleep one whole day in my room, on my bed. with no care or concern in the world.
.
sleep?
u wanna sleep?
when u die, then u sleep! all u want!
.
i just stumbled into a facebook group in the name of saving kampung selak kain, or kampung buangkok, the last kampung in singapore. . other than ubin, if that can still be counted.
click this link. i find this very interesting. almost made me wanna go down there right now and capture some scenes, only stopped by me realising its already 1036pm.
.
ok2. i think im finishing soon.
here are some way overdue pics. :) enjoy. ouh. and beware. i think there are a couple pics down below which will make yr eyes go wider, at least. :P
"she did it!"
"hah! main dengan makanan lagi!"
"oooh!"
"lectured"
"fascination?"
"oh yes.i will drink you!"
"on one of doz white balls floating in front of the esplanade on new year"
"my turn"
"her turn"
"smiles!"
*love*zesty.
its already the 9th day of the new year, and im still feeling zesty.
though much hasnt changed, i cant help but feel that there is this certain buzz surrounding me.
for one, im feeling much more enthusiastic about things.
isit due to me being back in NTUMS activities?
or was it the resoluteness in ensuring positive change, after seeing my results and my current CGPA right in front of my face.
(ouh. i only got to know of the "degree audit" link this week)
nothing beats the f-ed up feeling of seeing yr grades slip, aint it?
a new year, a new beginning. changes.
a new year for nur and me.
and yesterday, we had an impromptu date.
after sch/work, we went to have dinner at breeks marina square.
it was exceptionally different yesterday, and we had fun. even though it was a bit too early to be letting our hair down for the week la kan.
thing is, we were very much ourselves, and it was so unlike the last year, where we were still grappling with one another.
we did things we wudnt do on a so-called date of the conventional sense.
like what? let us be the only ones who know abt it.
ouh, and we played with our food...
"the straw which had solidified chocolate in it."
"the fondue"
"that green thing in my mango goldilocks"
.
not forgetting the guest appearance from an old fren of mine. haha.
"khairi? khairi?"
.
we headed down to mustafa.
where i got myself some things.
and where we almost got into a fight. *again*
and where she couldnt stand the smell. but really, id think its juz a matter of getting used to it.
:P kan nur?
soon, claustrophobia got the better of both of us, and the night ended with her sleeping in my arms.
perfect.
.
new year, new beginning.
hopefully, this zesty feeling lasts.
long.
though much hasnt changed, i cant help but feel that there is this certain buzz surrounding me.
for one, im feeling much more enthusiastic about things.
isit due to me being back in NTUMS activities?
or was it the resoluteness in ensuring positive change, after seeing my results and my current CGPA right in front of my face.
(ouh. i only got to know of the "degree audit" link this week)
nothing beats the f-ed up feeling of seeing yr grades slip, aint it?
a new year, a new beginning. changes.
a new year for nur and me.
and yesterday, we had an impromptu date.
after sch/work, we went to have dinner at breeks marina square.
it was exceptionally different yesterday, and we had fun. even though it was a bit too early to be letting our hair down for the week la kan.
thing is, we were very much ourselves, and it was so unlike the last year, where we were still grappling with one another.
we did things we wudnt do on a so-called date of the conventional sense.
like what? let us be the only ones who know abt it.
ouh, and we played with our food...
"the straw which had solidified chocolate in it."
"the fondue"
"that green thing in my mango goldilocks"
.
not forgetting the guest appearance from an old fren of mine. haha.
"khairi? khairi?"
.
we headed down to mustafa.
where i got myself some things.
and where we almost got into a fight. *again*
and where she couldnt stand the smell. but really, id think its juz a matter of getting used to it.
:P kan nur?
soon, claustrophobia got the better of both of us, and the night ended with her sleeping in my arms.
perfect.
.
new year, new beginning.
hopefully, this zesty feeling lasts.
long.
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