mercurial.man

doing up a cause for thyselves
the quest to be different
or at least, to express the same old mundane things
in perspectives that stretch beyond the common
what's good about the same old same old rite?
u want to stand out
yet yr attempts make u the same like the rest
in the end, thy wordy arrangement are nothing more than traces of ink
nothingness and inconsequence
nothing more.
- for those who wish to sound sophisticated and beyond the ordinary, or even mysterious, or whatever they know theyre essentially not. ;)

i need the spark to ignite.

soon.

i want my Nur.
i need my Nur.

hmm. when a want, becomes a need.
it used to be okay when it wasnt there.
after a while though, u cant live without it.
or at least, you'd feel lost.

i was lost.
the compass turned upside down, and the earth started spinning funny.

the recalibration was rough.
yet it woke me up.

she'd be there, whenever i want her to be.
though perhaps not always physically.

and silence does not necessarily mean absence.
thats what i was told.

thing is, we both haf different styles of expressing ourselves.
shes more succinct. and im more... let juz say, elaborative. haha
so whats the remedy?...
perhaps, our mere presence is enough.

i love you nur...
@>/--

oh yeah.
a lil of narrative updates: today i was the mercury man. and i learnt how to handle the mastrena. and my store is the first in asia-pacific to be graced by its presence.
dah. tu je. :P

7.mths

Pic.taken.in.the.train (otw.to.sending.her.home.yesterday)

its our 7.month.versary today. :)
.
.
.
(jgn.terperanjat.eh)
.
.
.
.
.
.

a kiss for my love.! (heheh)

i love u nur.

yours.truly,
Khairi

love.this.feeling

picture taken while we had our first break during the dusk period. unfortunately, my humble N70 couldnt do justice to the magic and visual miracle we managed to experience. rite there and then, you would agree with me that the scene was absolutely... beautiful. though id haf to add on, juz another impromptu creation of His, that gives a very small preview of His wonders.

Another day passed with only images and memories of her floating around in my head.
soo cant wait to bersua muka this sunday.
ade jemputan kahwin.

the class today was about fine, like yesterday.

but what struck me today was my overdue realisation,

which came while i was chatting up my fellow new baristas-in-the-making classmates,
about themselves, and the things they're doing in life now,

that a higher level of sincerity kicks in when we expect/demand nothing from the other party we are interacting with.

i was really surprised at how friendly and "smooth" i can be with new people.
seeing or letting ppl be shy and reserve themselves is one thing,
but to see that we are actually facilitating positively to breaking the ice and awkwardness amongst a group of people that had never known each other,

it is well... a very nice feeling.

"how do u noe u never and dont expect anything from someone? what they say or do that make u dun expect anything?... humility? listening?" - a particular cuban native asks.

my spontaneous reply was,
"coz ure open to any consequences. appreciate the diverse ideas and tots. from any class or backgrd. for me at least. its interesting how one behaves if u approach as a fren."

happy to say,
yeah,
i was the muse in the court, or class.
giving off that positive vibe, needed to provide a relaxing working environment.

made acquaintance to almost all the baristas not from my own outlet,
and particularly,
managed to typically hit it off well with another Malay dude.

the 2 days have been a revelation, in a way i discovered a side of me i tot rarely exist.
about opening up, and being sincere in knowing another,
and accepting them as the way they are,
and not juz imposing them yr ideas,
or lookin for some trivial intellectual debate, or stepping of heads.

the art of gratifying another, and not just yourself, is indeed noble, and the fact that it does make a positive difference to someone else, is satisfiying to the do-er himself. :)

i guess, mutual respect is indeed a valuable thing.

so starbucks aint tt bad of a thing after all.
at least it attempts to show a humane side,
and interestingly,
profit-making is the last, and not 1st priority in its mission statement, and guiding principles.

it is its staff, or more accurately, partners, which hold more importance.

to add another ting, knowing others of a different backgrd is indeed refreshin.
it makes u realise that life has really much more than juz the usual shit tt u face every day.

alhamdullilah, that He permitted me to realise all these juz now.
:)

oh yeah.
one more revelation.

apple slurpee and clover ciggs.
pure dope.
and for that moment,
i achieved a form of nirvana.

i cant wait for sunday.
i cant wait to meet my Nur.
i cant wait to caress the side of her face and look deep into her eyes.
coz i love her, and i miss her so.

haf a great time living everyone, and god bless. :)

she inai-ed her hand. :)

barista.1st.day

"insecurity is the devil's playground"

i shalt not fall.
i shalt be firm.

fear.
the irrational being of reluctance to face a certain possibilty that may not even happen, but might.

like finding a job, and eventually clinching it, to actually working it.
amongst other things

went for my first training this evening, and like an anticipating smoke stuck in the gutters of stomach's attic, it all managed to came out calm and smooth.

anxiety, it comes to you choking, and when it leaves, the relief that replaces it is comparable to a soothing breeze that caresses your warm face.

i shalt be optimistic.
and
i shalt conquer.

though im now part of an american commercial empire that we know of as starbucks, instead of letting it rule me, ill be making use of it.

or at least, thats just an apparent illusion that it would want me to believe.

but whatever.
i need the experience, and i need the extra income.

:)

thanks nur, for nudging me along.
guess id still be rotting away in oblivion if we hadnt had that stormy conversation.

i love you.
always.

@>/--

in celebration of our 200th day together (blush), with the NTU gang. ;)
the.incomplete.soci.crew.from.NTU

ducktour.slides