even with all the chaos and the uncertainty, and of course, not to mention the unintentional inertia of non-movement that plagues me every now and then, i think it is safe to say that i am pretty comfortable with myself.
the year was alright.
the highs and lows, all there.
but somehow, none seems to be bearing much of a significance that i can easily pull out of my memory glands at the current moment as i am typing this.
ok. no. i lied.
here are some things.
1. i lost some friends, or rather, they lost me.
2. my studies werent outstanding nor glowing. juz afloat.
3. my faith is still on a standstill, even after that phase recently where i really thought there wasnt a point to anything at all. now, at times where i thought i knew, moments later, i cannot be so sure.
4. i got myself a part-time job at starbucks, driven by the hints and wants of two ladies in my life whom i know care much abt me, mama & nur.
5. my family accepting the fact that their son has a special someone in his life, and happier still, when mama gets to know nur a little bit better.
6. i found new friends along the way. another quirky bunch, but the last lesson taught me certain things, and knowing that ive this habit of handling too many things at one go, i hope nothing untoward will happen.
7. i got addicted to facebook. especially gangster battle and mafia wars. why. oh why???
8. nur and myself get to know one another better. it has been a year, and though peppered with the occasional flare-ups and disagreements, both of us are still deeply in love with each other.
as with other years, i hope 2009 will be a better one.
it better be.
:)
my wishlist, and resolution, will be jotted down in my journal.
yes.
ive a journal. aka organiser.
next year will be a more organised one for me.
so many plans, so many things to do, yet so little time.
past
we build on past experiences, to define our present.
without all that we felt, saw, hear or read previously, we will not have any basis present to form the roots of our judgments.
what if all that we know, is being challenged by a more authoritative figure, for example, the government?
education in schools, is just another form of propaganda mechanism, and the past that we know it, is being challenged, with textbooks saying that it happened the other way.
if that is to really happen, would you question yourself and your sanity, or would u dare speak up against it?
since the past do not exist, and perhaps, by the grounds of technicality, may never have, then who's to say, what really happened?
truth and knowledge, theyre relative.
only based on what u believe in, be it rational or spiritual.
hold on to them dearly.
coz when something robs it from u, consider yrself gone too.
without all that we felt, saw, hear or read previously, we will not have any basis present to form the roots of our judgments.
what if all that we know, is being challenged by a more authoritative figure, for example, the government?
education in schools, is just another form of propaganda mechanism, and the past that we know it, is being challenged, with textbooks saying that it happened the other way.
if that is to really happen, would you question yourself and your sanity, or would u dare speak up against it?
since the past do not exist, and perhaps, by the grounds of technicality, may never have, then who's to say, what really happened?
truth and knowledge, theyre relative.
only based on what u believe in, be it rational or spiritual.
hold on to them dearly.
coz when something robs it from u, consider yrself gone too.
comma
You Are a Comma |
 You are open minded and extremely optimistic. You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything. You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests. You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time. Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to. (But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.) You excel in: Inspiring people You get along best with: The Question Mark |
brown.chick
i made her sit on the concrete floor, juz for this picture, which for me, is one of the most beautiful pictures ive ever taken.lawa kan?
:)
.
the greatest storm comes just before the calm.
witch
You Are a Witch (or Warlock) |
 You are deviously brilliant and a perfect manipulator. You somehow always end up getting what you want - without anyone knowing you're working behind the scenes. Crafty and cunning, you can work your way out of any jam. And it's easy for you to get people to do what you want, whether you're working for good or evil. Your greatest power: Mind control Your greatest weakness: Making people your puppets You play well with: Ghosts |
sloshed.
"sloshed"
this word caught my eye in the front page of a local tabloid some time back recently.
it was featuring the habit of party-goers being drunk and paralysed right after one of the major beach parties singapore can offer...
it being an ugly sight and detrimental to the well-being of themselves, and all.
the verb caught my eye, due to its auditory effect of its pronunciation which hints to its meaning instantly in my head.
the first thing that came to mind was slurpee.
u noe, the blended drink that was made famous by its brain-freeze ad while we were young.
i remember in primary school, i used to head down to a nearby 7-11 which juz opened, just to get my hands on a cup of slurpee. or that small cup of mr softee, which has died out.
slurpee, becoz... to me its the sound or sensation that u will experience when u attempt to stir a cup of slurpee substance, or mr softee.
.
brain-freezed.
slow-mode-ish.
but without its colorful flavors.
that is what im feeling rite now.
sloshed.
im drained.
mentally, and physically.
not that i was busy with anything specific in particular, but perhaps its the amount of transit from point a to point b that gets me exhausted the most.
its mind-numbing.
its when emptiness will reek in, and your existence juz gets insulated by the dusty and crowded confines of the bus/mrt, while u see the rest of the world passing by.
its not a conducive environment to get the badly needed 40winks or even a decent chat with anyone that happens to be with u, especially in buses.
if u got a seat, ud always have to be on the look-out for the elderly, less abled, with two- bodied, just so to avoid the silent criticism from the glaring of other passengers.
it gets better when u play a game with yrself of gauging the age and efficiency of a seemingly old person in front of u.
.
perhaps the reason im quite sloshed rite now, even though its been 6 hrs since i had reached home from my graveyard shift, is also due to the relatively long period of time since i ever did something which i enjoy so much.
one thing, ive been away from my love for a quite a while now.
and another thing, we have not been spending enough quality time together.
another factor is due to my highly critical status of my financial situation.
*sigh*
thinking abt it makes me lose my appetite, and even the will to just go out.
no money, no honey.
simple rule.
this is juz another effect of reification, where how we see the value of time and the tasks that we do, being merely measured and dependent by the value of money.
.
slave to the system.
urgh.
im being exploited, and its not a gd feeling.
im not talking abt the corporation im working for, but rather, im referring to the whole system that we are bounded by as a whole.
the individual in me is exhausted.
he needs some time to recuperate, but im not sure when can he, especially with the school term coming up, and in hand are a couple of humanitarian project to contend himself with.
.
ouh. i wanna bowl.
i miss bowling.
before i started my journey home, me in my sloshed mind, managed to bring up the possibility of having a bowling session with 2 of my colleagues in JB, who happen to love bowling too, but has not indulged in the sport for quite a while now.
the idea is still in its infancy.
and i fancy it being realised only after my next pay comes in, and that is already when school has re-opened.
school.
aiyah.
im worried for my grades.
last sem was bad. very bad.
enough said.
.
sloshed.
from the worrying.
and everything else that comes in between.
someone pls bring me the remedy.
.
i miss u, nur.
i really do.
:(
when can we have our own time coming?...
.dah. aku nak mandi skrng.
ouh. and sloshed, according to dictonary.com
slosh -
v. tr.
To splash, wade, or flounder in water or another liquid: sloshed through the creek.
n.
adj. Slang
Intoxicated; drunk.
this word caught my eye in the front page of a local tabloid some time back recently.
it was featuring the habit of party-goers being drunk and paralysed right after one of the major beach parties singapore can offer...
it being an ugly sight and detrimental to the well-being of themselves, and all.
the verb caught my eye, due to its auditory effect of its pronunciation which hints to its meaning instantly in my head.
the first thing that came to mind was slurpee.
u noe, the blended drink that was made famous by its brain-freeze ad while we were young.
i remember in primary school, i used to head down to a nearby 7-11 which juz opened, just to get my hands on a cup of slurpee. or that small cup of mr softee, which has died out.
slurpee, becoz... to me its the sound or sensation that u will experience when u attempt to stir a cup of slurpee substance, or mr softee.
.
brain-freezed.
slow-mode-ish.
but without its colorful flavors.
that is what im feeling rite now.
sloshed.
im drained.
mentally, and physically.
not that i was busy with anything specific in particular, but perhaps its the amount of transit from point a to point b that gets me exhausted the most.
its mind-numbing.
its when emptiness will reek in, and your existence juz gets insulated by the dusty and crowded confines of the bus/mrt, while u see the rest of the world passing by.
its not a conducive environment to get the badly needed 40winks or even a decent chat with anyone that happens to be with u, especially in buses.
if u got a seat, ud always have to be on the look-out for the elderly, less abled, with two- bodied, just so to avoid the silent criticism from the glaring of other passengers.
it gets better when u play a game with yrself of gauging the age and efficiency of a seemingly old person in front of u.
.
perhaps the reason im quite sloshed rite now, even though its been 6 hrs since i had reached home from my graveyard shift, is also due to the relatively long period of time since i ever did something which i enjoy so much.
one thing, ive been away from my love for a quite a while now.
and another thing, we have not been spending enough quality time together.
another factor is due to my highly critical status of my financial situation.
*sigh*
thinking abt it makes me lose my appetite, and even the will to just go out.
no money, no honey.
simple rule.
this is juz another effect of reification, where how we see the value of time and the tasks that we do, being merely measured and dependent by the value of money.
.
slave to the system.
urgh.
im being exploited, and its not a gd feeling.
im not talking abt the corporation im working for, but rather, im referring to the whole system that we are bounded by as a whole.
the individual in me is exhausted.
he needs some time to recuperate, but im not sure when can he, especially with the school term coming up, and in hand are a couple of humanitarian project to contend himself with.
.
ouh. i wanna bowl.
i miss bowling.
before i started my journey home, me in my sloshed mind, managed to bring up the possibility of having a bowling session with 2 of my colleagues in JB, who happen to love bowling too, but has not indulged in the sport for quite a while now.
the idea is still in its infancy.
and i fancy it being realised only after my next pay comes in, and that is already when school has re-opened.
school.
aiyah.
im worried for my grades.
last sem was bad. very bad.
enough said.
.
sloshed.
from the worrying.
and everything else that comes in between.
someone pls bring me the remedy.
.
i miss u, nur.
i really do.
:(
when can we have our own time coming?...
.dah. aku nak mandi skrng.
ouh. and sloshed, according to dictonary.com
slosh -
v. tr.
- To spill or splash (a liquid) copiously or clumsily: slosh paint on the floor.
- To agitate in a liquid: slosh clothes in a solution of bleach and detergent.
To splash, wade, or flounder in water or another liquid: sloshed through the creek.
n.
- Slush.
- The sound of splashing liquid.
adj. Slang
Intoxicated; drunk.
yakking.
it is only when things are turning out for the worse, or when the end is very much in sight, would we start to regret on the things that we have done or should have done.
why do we not contemplate right at the beginning?
isit the at-the-moment impulse, or are we really that short-sighted.
some of us do things, that we know harm ourselves or the people around us that matters.
take drinking, smoking, or even the general phenomena of global pollution.
we know that its wrong, and detrimental, and yet we still do it.
the apathetic side in all of us are apparent to see.
some who are optimistic enough would maintain that values and principles still hold.
but on which or whose grounds that it rightfully remain so?
we disparage those who smoke, citing second hand smoke as harmful to the body.
but what about smoke continuously coming out of vehicles or factories, isnt it as bad too?
or, how about us yakking so much on the environment and the need to go green, but at the same time, we drool at the sight of a branded item on the shelf that has "new arrival" on it, even though we do not need it. the current home at home is left wasted, piling up dust.
the need for that instant gratification is very much apparent, implicit or explicit.
we do not care where it came from, or how it was made, so long as our slimy fingers can get a hold of it.
hypocrisy is wrong? ... yet we barely bat an eyelid when innocents die from a stray bullet in a desert civilisation, but when someone from our own nation who holds a high qualification gets to be the victim, the mourning went like there wasnt to be a tomorrow.
.
my mind is rather racing and pacing, and i know, whatever above seem barely coherent or comprehensible.
perhaps im irritated that i have to get out of my house again tonight.
to become a slave to the system for a few hours while everyone else gets to dream a lil something...
.
why do we not contemplate right at the beginning?
isit the at-the-moment impulse, or are we really that short-sighted.
some of us do things, that we know harm ourselves or the people around us that matters.
take drinking, smoking, or even the general phenomena of global pollution.
we know that its wrong, and detrimental, and yet we still do it.
the apathetic side in all of us are apparent to see.
some who are optimistic enough would maintain that values and principles still hold.
but on which or whose grounds that it rightfully remain so?
we disparage those who smoke, citing second hand smoke as harmful to the body.
but what about smoke continuously coming out of vehicles or factories, isnt it as bad too?
or, how about us yakking so much on the environment and the need to go green, but at the same time, we drool at the sight of a branded item on the shelf that has "new arrival" on it, even though we do not need it. the current home at home is left wasted, piling up dust.
the need for that instant gratification is very much apparent, implicit or explicit.
we do not care where it came from, or how it was made, so long as our slimy fingers can get a hold of it.
hypocrisy is wrong? ... yet we barely bat an eyelid when innocents die from a stray bullet in a desert civilisation, but when someone from our own nation who holds a high qualification gets to be the victim, the mourning went like there wasnt to be a tomorrow.
.
my mind is rather racing and pacing, and i know, whatever above seem barely coherent or comprehensible.
perhaps im irritated that i have to get out of my house again tonight.
to become a slave to the system for a few hours while everyone else gets to dream a lil something...
.
one.year
my mini floorball journey ended today.
we reached the semis.
alas, NIE was indeed the better team.
while we won and not concede any goals for the earlier preliminary matches, we were taught a great deal of the flair and skill needed to ace in floorball by the learning teachers.
and our huddle was like this...
"what team? HSS!
what team? HSS!
hey.. SA~!"
which left me a couple of seconds deaf.
.
sounds familiar?
yeah. the spirit-lifter for the wildcats in HSM.
thanks to who?
:P
we reached the semis.
alas, NIE was indeed the better team.
while we won and not concede any goals for the earlier preliminary matches, we were taught a great deal of the flair and skill needed to ace in floorball by the learning teachers.
and our huddle was like this...
"what team? HSS!
what team? HSS!
hey.. SA~!"
which left me a couple of seconds deaf.
.
sounds familiar?
yeah. the spirit-lifter for the wildcats in HSM.
thanks to who?
:P
it was our 1st anniversary of us together yesterday.
duly marked by a heart...
a simple gesture, but not without its meaning.
no matter how far the distance,
how bitter some issues may be...
my heart is still hers, so long as she bothers to keep it. kan syg?
:)
i love you.
duly marked by a heart...
a simple gesture, but not without its meaning.
no matter how far the distance,
how bitter some issues may be...
my heart is still hers, so long as she bothers to keep it. kan syg?
:)
i love you.
gdbye.to.a.part.of.me
i am not financially well-off, like some of you are. that is why, i foresee that it will be a long time coming before i can get my hands on a brand new phone.
this is but a tribute to my phone, the N78.
gone, away from my not so chubby hands, and into some muddy fingers of the one who does not care to return.
why would i feel the loss?
it is just a phone, a mere object, some would argue.
thing is, even though its only a few months now, the phone had become an integral part of me.
other than the calls and smses function, i would miss the photography and music functions even more.
even the photography quality is obviously far-off from dslr quality, it is good enough for me. 3.2 megapixels, with a carl zeiss autofocus lense, and a bright enough xenon flash, i took loadsa pictures with it, if i do not have my bridge camera around me.
i captured some of the best moments that life can offer to me as a form of art, and im gonna miss that.
it has a big screen too, something which i always enjoy letting my eyes feast on.
though it hangs in the most unexpected times every now and then, with a simple removal of the plastic cover and the battery, its up and running again... and i certainly did not mind.
certainly, my audio technica earphones would miss entering its universal jack insert, for my daily music fix in transit, or when i need to have some senseless music screaming into my ears before i can go to sleep.
this is one the last pictures i managed to upload into my laptop, before the sudden disappearance of my phone.
i dont know about you, but i find this picture breathtaking, not only did the phone captured the flames in the most crisp of manner, it reminds me of my mischievous side, that is only waiting to unravel itself from time to time. (i actually stacked the whole remainder of a box of unused firestarters during the end of a barbecue session and set it alight, just for the sport of it.)
i dont fancy those large touchscreens at all, which also do not have proper keypads. my beloved phone instead, has a screen big enough screen, and a proper keypad, something for me to jab upon in a jiffy.
though it is expected that i would leave some scratches all over the phone, which i did, i still do not mind, as those scratches only make it more unique, and only defines it more as mine.
haiz.
goodbye, my N78. ...
now im using my sayang's old sony ericsson for the time being... until i can get myself another nokia phone that can match itself to my N78.
what to do?
suck it in lorh.
bah.
this is but a tribute to my phone, the N78.
gone, away from my not so chubby hands, and into some muddy fingers of the one who does not care to return.
why would i feel the loss?
it is just a phone, a mere object, some would argue.
thing is, even though its only a few months now, the phone had become an integral part of me.
other than the calls and smses function, i would miss the photography and music functions even more.
even the photography quality is obviously far-off from dslr quality, it is good enough for me. 3.2 megapixels, with a carl zeiss autofocus lense, and a bright enough xenon flash, i took loadsa pictures with it, if i do not have my bridge camera around me.
i captured some of the best moments that life can offer to me as a form of art, and im gonna miss that.
it has a big screen too, something which i always enjoy letting my eyes feast on.
though it hangs in the most unexpected times every now and then, with a simple removal of the plastic cover and the battery, its up and running again... and i certainly did not mind.
certainly, my audio technica earphones would miss entering its universal jack insert, for my daily music fix in transit, or when i need to have some senseless music screaming into my ears before i can go to sleep.
this is one the last pictures i managed to upload into my laptop, before the sudden disappearance of my phone.i dont know about you, but i find this picture breathtaking, not only did the phone captured the flames in the most crisp of manner, it reminds me of my mischievous side, that is only waiting to unravel itself from time to time. (i actually stacked the whole remainder of a box of unused firestarters during the end of a barbecue session and set it alight, just for the sport of it.)
i dont fancy those large touchscreens at all, which also do not have proper keypads. my beloved phone instead, has a screen big enough screen, and a proper keypad, something for me to jab upon in a jiffy.though it is expected that i would leave some scratches all over the phone, which i did, i still do not mind, as those scratches only make it more unique, and only defines it more as mine.
haiz.
goodbye, my N78. ...
now im using my sayang's old sony ericsson for the time being... until i can get myself another nokia phone that can match itself to my N78.
what to do?
suck it in lorh.
bah.
nombor.
i left my mobile in the cab, only realising 20 mins after i alighted for my first opening shift.
.
i have reactivated my old number, which is 93838645.
sms me yr name, so that i can save it proper.
.
.
.
only now, i realise how much dependent my life was towards that phone.
i felt as if a whole lotta vacuum was left, and i felt truly lost.
.
i have reactivated my old number, which is 93838645.
sms me yr name, so that i can save it proper.
.
.
.
only now, i realise how much dependent my life was towards that phone.
i felt as if a whole lotta vacuum was left, and i felt truly lost.
km13
KM31, a spanish horror film that got me pondering.
no.
not about the ghosts, nor the scary effects.
but rather, about lies.
the old woman told the couple to beware of ghosts that try to deceive.
interestingly, the old woman herself was out to deceive them.
imagine the devil warning others of himself.
.
lies.
truths.
untruths.
the mystique of such mechanisms still baffle me.
we rely so much on the truths, and truths alone.
that we crumble and fall, once the truth gets untied, and whatever that we believe in vanished.
how do you know when to believe, or when to be a sceptic?
do we blame ourselves for any dashed hopes, or do we point fingers at others?
the guy ended up killing his girlfriend, because to his eyes at that point of time, she was a demon.
he didnt noe that the actual demon was actually playing tricks to his mind.
.
ginger.girl
last monday was my sayang's 22nd birthday.had an intimate celebration with her pham at beach road.
gorged ourselves, or myself actually, crazy with ayam tulang merah.
was a lil broke, so for the occasion, i got for her that bliss log from cannelle and that gingerbread man from my store.
:)
hmm. this picture.i aint sure when was this taken, but it was during a busride on the way to her home.
so cute kan!!!
:)
and yeah. last saturday she followed me to a family bbq organised by one my aunts, and there, the ladies of my house got to know her a lil bit better, especially my sisters.hopefully, there would be more family outings that she can join me.
:)
.
and now. until tomorrow, i would be all alone without her.
she's off to a holiday cruise on superstar virgo.
haiz.
if only i can join her.
confirm dah bertango and doing the cha-cha with her rite now.
instead of having my feet aching, from that damn floorball practice, and special work shift, where my store is giving out free drinks for salvation army.
cant wait for tomorrow, when ill get to see her again.
oh yeah, i put some nice photos i took at my other, ahem, blog. :P
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